"Victoria and Me, At a Crossroads"

Today, I am feeling a little baffled. I always "got" Victoria's Secret, but suddenly, not so much. Is it age? I don't know. But we've been having this problem for a little while, as I have seen my favorite undies slip away. Now, I am afraid they are gone for good. To make things worse, I just gave $30 worth of silky undies to a 9 year old, so now I am sad, and also pissed off.

Don't worry, I did not vamp Gwynn up in lacey thongs or anything. The undies in question are the Body by Victoria Hipsters. I have always and forever been a hipster girl. I hate bikinis, always feeling like they just don't do the job. Young, older, pregnant, heavier, at my thinnest, I have never liked 'em, and never will. Briefs don't do it for me either. I have never liked a waist band, well, at my waist. I like it part way down, on my hips, at my center, a "hip"ster. Cute, not "momwear." Good for everyday, attractive, and comfy at the same time. Every few months or so, I was happy to go into Vicky's and pick up 3 new pairs on sale, to spruce up my underwear wardrobe. They washed great, wore great. Things were good.

Recently, though, there has been a change. My good old Body by Victoria hipsters felt "different." I wasn't quite sure why, as I had gotten some pairs that were a LITTLE different...some ruching, some with lace, some cotton as opposed to microfiber. I wasn't really loving any of these, but I thought, OK, stick with the microfiber. It is obviously what you like.

I went in a few weeks ago and picked up the Body by Victoria Incredible undies, in a L like I always wear. They seemed small, but were VERY stretchy, so I just went with it. 3/$30 I was out the door. They looked fun, very vibrant...they looked like my old BBV hipsters. Then I got them home. They fit, sure, but they are BIKINIS! I even measured the "rise" in the front and compared to my oldies...sure enough, lower! I gave up. I gave them to Gwynn.

When I went to Vicky's website, here is what I found.

(on the Incredible panties...)
Like no other panty you've ever worn. Comfy, soft and super stretchy just like the bra. Perfectly no-show and completely smooth under clothes. Low rise. Imported nylon/spandex.

(on the hipster panties, in general...)
Sweet and low. Like a boyshort + a bikini

Low rise, low rise, low rise...everywhere...it is low rise. And the hipster specifically described as a bikini. If I WANTED bikinis, wouldn't I buy those?

I saw Ellen Degeneres one day, on her talk show, joking about people's underwear showing above their low rise jeans. She did a bit about the fact that pants come in such varying rises, that maybe underwear should be sold with the correct jeans. I am thinking she may have a point. Apparently Vicky has chosen to solve the butt clevage problem by making all of her undies lower, but how about for those of us who were not having a problem in the first place? How about those of us who wore the correct underwear with our mid rise jeans?

Interestingly enough, again on Vicky's website, many of the briefs are described at mid rise...so maybe the adjustment has happened there as well. Maybe there is a whole contingent of Vicky's brief girls who are angered that they've been forced to hipsters? Well, all I know is, as a former lingerie salesgirl after all, there are a lot of underwear manufactures out there. Maybe it is time, as I enter my 40's, to find someone new. I'm stickin' with the hubby that I have, and the job, but the undies, well, I just might have to move on.