Tonight's Topic - running

No, don't worry, I am not picking up a healthy habit or anything...I mean running in life...the way I have been feeling lately...like I am constantly running and getting nowhere! It has been a long wondering of mine, to think back, and try to figure out when life got insane. And it gets more and more insane each year, which would lead me to believe that, overall, the blame can go to the kids, as each year they grow, and change, and pull us in new directions, but I am not so sure it is that, exactly. Then there is the fact that I can look back at when we lived in apartments, as opposed to a house with a yard and say, OH, that's it! Life was so easy back then, home ownership sucks the life, and money, right outta ya! But, really, that's not it either...come see my house today, seriously, it has not been the thing getting my attention, so how can I say it is making me insane? Could it be my job? I mean, it is true that teaching has changed a great deal in 17 years. It used to be fun, people used to smile, read the paper on their "break," make popcorn and chat. We used to be able to have the occational "read and feed" day with the kids, just let them hang out, snack, maybe throw on a movie, and get a lot of our own work done in the meantime. Now, we have beautiful Smartboards that can play a DVD like nobody's business, but we also have testing, upon testing, upon testing. Could it be the job? Sure, but then again, I am pretty much a "leave work at work" kinda girl so it really isn't that either.

I was talking with my dad this weekend about needing to get new cell phones, and how much of a DECISION that is. He agreed, and went on to say that at the same time, you are supposed to be shopping for the best deals, and choosing your power provider, and land line phone company, and checking your credit report, and it just gets to be too much. I think that the running question can be summed up as there is more and more available at all times, and, realistically, as I age, I have less and less time. Years FLY by, my work, home and family demands are multiplied 10 fold, and my perception of the passage of time has totally flip flopped. When I was younger, I had all the time in the world, now, time is more of my sparring partner. There are things I need to do, and things I want to do, in life, and the windows of time for them to happen are flexing and changing every moment.

You know, the running thing was something I made a funny about while talking to Tim after dinner. I said to him, "Wow, we have a marathon to run before we go to Key West, and then we'll have to DRIVE THROUGH Marathon (key) to even GET to Key West!" The symbolism is thick, eh? But seriously, may this marathon TO Marathon pass quickly and may we move on to paradise! I'm here, in the now, right now, but I am so ready to be here in the now, there...soon!