We just got back from a FABULOUS Memorial Day weekend at camp! I have been away from the blog, but not away from my writing, don't fret! You think I'd break my promise to me? Hardly! Had my handy Moleskine notebook and recorded many a fun "think thought," but also just kicked back, relaxed, and enjoyed the good times with our great big clan!

I married Tim for many reasons, naturally. One was that he could, easily, pick me up. If you are a bigger girl, you totally get that one. Another reason I married him was that I wanted little round babies. I have such a narrow face, I knew he'd balance me out...and you know what? It WORKED! Then there was the clincher. I come from a wonderful, but very small family. My parents each only have one sibling, so you can pretty much do the math. I had nothing lacking in my family, persay, but I always kind of wondered what it would be like to be from a big crew. In marrying Tim, that is JUST what I got, a big, crazy, loving, fun BUNCH of people to call my own! Every time we get together, with the Howell side, or with the Colby side, I am reminded, that they are such a blessing in my life.

So, Pseudo Sunday Grumpies are far from my mind, but Monday Gratitude is flowing freely! I love you all!

Being home, sick, for yet another day, I felt better, but still have no voice. So, I put my time to good use. I mean, I did clean out some crap from the computer room, and switch my closet, and do the laundry, but more importantly, I watched the 2009 version of Fame. You know, Fame, I'm gonna live forever and all...love it love it love it! The old movie was much better, as was the series, but I'd say this flick had its moments. DO please note, though, that up above I am featuring The Kids From Fame ALBUM! Yeah, I have it. Would you expect any less?

Now, I feel that watching this WAS good use of my time, as it was a movie that came on our Netflix rotation much to Tim's frustration and never would have gotten watched otherwise. He loathes anything highschool themed. And how can I blame him, I mean, it IS work for him, but for me, again, I LOVE IT! Fame, Grease, Footloose, ANY John Hughes film, and lest we forget, Glee, and Twilight, give it to me any day! Kindergarten Cop you can take, but the HS stuff, I am all there.

I suppose it is natural now and then to evaluate your career path, and assess whether you made the right choices. I do this regularly, being the person I am and all, and at times, wonder if I should have aimed to teach older kids, say JrHigh or High School, but if it would have ruined me for an afternoon enjoying this movie, well, let's just say I am glad I stuck to the little ones!

Being home sick today sucked, but at least I got to travel to India.

I started to re-read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert last week, in part due to anxious anticipation for the movie, and in part to see how I would react to it at this point in my life, here, on my journey towards 40. It is always so interesting, after all, to see how books affect us in different ways at different points in our lives. I recall reading the book Operating Instructions, A Journal of My Son's First Year by Anne Lamott, just as I was coming out of what I would now call a mild postpartum depression after Devin's birth. The book SPOKE to me then, but re-reading it after Gwynn's birth, which was markedly different, easier, and, quite frankly less of a life upheaval than a first child's birth ever could have been, I thought, "Woah, I was DARK!" I am having a less drastic reacation to Elizabeth's book, but am seeing changes in myself, nonetheless.

So much has hit me as I have read, and I am thankful that I write in and underline and dogear my books to no end, because on this return journey, not only do I remember some parts vividly, others not so, but I also have many moments of reading my own notes in the margin, my own sidebar conversation with Liz, from years ago, and now the conversation can go on, deepen, and help me to gain more insight on my journey through life.

Holy crap, that was ONE SENTENCE, and you know what? I am just going to keep it that way! Is that growth or WHAT? Perfection doesn't exist, but self acceptance does, and I accept myself, grammatical flaws and all. That is true peace. Thanks Liz, for your insight, that in turn has helped me to grow.

Still so sick and tired of being sick and tired! And with the weather being SO gorgeous too, all I feel like is Dorothy when she just HAD to sleep in the poppy fields of Oz. Aargh! I can barely talk, and you would think that might mean that I would have more to say here, having not "used all my words" for the day, but sadly, that is not true. Energy illudes me, as does wit.

You know, though, I did help Gwynn whip up a little script for the Talent Show just now, so I guess I am not at a total loss. AND HEY, if I wrote a short skit for two third graders tonight, then I HAVE written, thus, in another small way, fulfilling my promise to myself to write everyday of my 39th year. Seems to be a theme this week...how to keep your promises even when you feel like poo. A good thing to examine I suppose, cause it happens to the best of us!

Monday, Monday...can't trust that day...

After being sick Saturday, I think I overestimated myself on Sunday, overdid, and worked myself right into a very crappy Monday. I am exhausted! Then, top that off with 85 degree, sunny weather, and having to be stuck in a smelly classroom all day, with equally tired and burned out kids! Whew. That I made it through the day is saying something. I did revive a bit once I got home, and had a little iced coffee, and sat in the sun with a breeze off the lake reading my new Self magazine...but it will be a boring blog tonight and an early to bed evening for me. Not every day is a noteworthy day, but it is a day nonetheless.
G'nite!

Sunday/Sundae

I am feeling better today, thankfully, and enjoyed my Sunday to the fullest...

1. One of the funnier moments of the day happened in church. We were singing "I Am The Church" and Devin veritably broke into "Brick House" by the Commodores. Um, Yeah, REALLY! The pastor had been talking about how the church is NOT just bricks and mortar, and Devin leaned over to mention that they are playing "Brick House" in Jazz Band (Ummm, YEAH!) and THEN when we were singing the song, well, it just came out. HEY, one verse of the hymn DOES say...

"And when the people gather, there’s singing and there’s praying, there’s laughing and there’s crying sometimes, all of it saying..."

I am just saying, there was some laughing today.

2. Headed out for my Sunday grocery shopping + and got my mom in law a lovely birthday gift, and myself another pair of size 12 capris, and some yoga capris as well. GOD I love SHOPPING! (in particular when it is for smaller clothes) (even more so when it is for SUMMER clothes) (and yes, even in Oswego)

3. I also LOVE Jason Mraz! Pretty much lived on his CD "We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things" today. It is such a great album..."Live High," "Only Human," and HELLO, ""Butterfly," totally dirty but I LOVE it! Then there is "A Beautiful Mess," which, the more and more I listen to it, just keeps sounding like 17 WONDERFULLY MESSY years of marriage to me. Then again, you don't get to 17 years of marriage, happily, without a little bit 'o "Butterfly," so it's all good!

4. Dinner...Mmmmmmmm...grilled chicken, by my hunk of a grill master!

It is quite apparent that, in the quest to beat the Sunday Grumpies...
11th Sunday of my 40th year...VICTORY CHERYL!

Sick today. Not horrible, throwing up, can't lift your head sick, but yucky enough to be in bed, asleep, undercovers, in 80 degree weather for two hours sick. Hated today, but hopeful for a better tomorrow. Sigh...ya win some, ya lose some.

COCONUT FRIDAYS!

For sure switching my Friday routine on here,at least for these last 5 weeks of the school year. After that it'll be COCONUT EVERYDAY! WooHoo! I can hardley wait for summer vacation!

With that in mind, I have to express that tonight was the perfect night. I came home from school and cracked open the Hosmer White Sangria, which I love even if Sue thinks it smells like shampoo, and had a glass whilst sitting in the sun. Then, when the family was ready, we ventured out to Pleasant Beach for a deck dinner of cheeseburgers in paradise. Jimmy Buffet's Sirius station Margaritaville Radio was playing as we ate, and as the sun sank lower, sparkling on the water, the Beatles "I'll Follow the Sun," came on. Tomorrow MAY rain, but no matter as I WILL follow the sun! May you all...HAPPY WEEKEND!

Had bookgroup tonight, AND there is the two hour Grey's Anatomy season finale, so we will be necessarily brief...

I do have some bookish thoughts to share though, and btw, we read House Rules by Jodi Picoult, and our next pick is Best Friends Forever by Jennifer Weiner, for those who might want to know.

But I digress. At school today one of my students brought this book back from the library and I did a double take at the author. Kevin Henkes, of little mouse fame, Owen, Lily and of course Chrysanthemum...where did THIS book come from? During silent reading time I asked my student if I could give it a quick read, and mind you, that is all it was, but it had some great little quotes...some about walking and nature that I forgot to jot down, and this gem that really stood out...

"When it's just me I ask myself questions I can't answer."

Phew, pretty heavy stuff for kids, but I just loved it! It goes to show that children's literature should be used in all kinds of classrooms, at all levels. Thank you Kevin Henkes, for all of your books, that have served me well over my career, and thank you for the thoughtful little moment this book brought to me today. Thank you, Kevin Henkes, for All Alone, your first book.

“Self Improvement Trumps Self Destruction”

I have been thinking a lot lately, about the schoolyear, reflecting, as I always do, on the year that has gone by. It has been a long one, longer than most in many ways. In seventeen years as a teacher, and near as many classes, I often think that classes get bad raps. But this year, in a lot of ways, I had “the bad class.” I won’t mention names, but there were challenging students, on multiple levels, and less support than would have been preferable. Still, I did my job. Even at the end of the year, when, along with the behavioral, emotional and educational needs present in the room at all times, we had multiple deaths plague us, some of the “typical” variety and some of the “tragic” variety, I held things together, for myself and for my students. In fact, as the year has come to a close, and my kids have shown the growth that they have made, I have enjoyed them more. A day I was dreading, Grandparent’s Day, actually turned out to be one of our nicest moments as a class.

They grow, sometimes regardless of what we try to do, they always do. They are kids.

Last night, I was observing them and talking to my husband during the third grade chorus concert. I said to him, “HOW did I manage to stop biting my nails, lose 15 pounds, and grow my bangs out for the very first time in my life with all of THAT going on in my classroom!?!?” I mean, here we were at a concert, and the motley crew up there, well, let’s just say, most of the motleys were “mine.” His statement to me, “Well, I guess you chose self improvement over self destruction, eh?” I had to admit he was right. Instead of going off the deep end, and spending my year in despair, lamenting my bad luck and misfortune, I turned my focus away from the bad, and did some good, for ME.

So, with that in mind, my personal goal next year is to keep that thought in my mind as a mantra of sorts. I want to move to 4th grade, and keep my sanity intact. Moreover, I want to maintain my weight, continue to grow my hair and nails, take care of some health issues that I have been putting off, and enter my 40’s well, and happy. A happy healthy person makes for a happy healthy teacher. I am facing another year with this crew, but attitude means so much. Perspective is so important. It is with the right attitude, and a positive perspective, I look forward to 2010-2011.

-Cheryl Howell

Driving to work today, and wishing I could just keep on driving and go anywhere BUT work, these words spoke to me from Sheryl Crow's "Leaving Las Vegas,"

"Such a muddy line between
The things you want
And the things you have to do"

HA! Have listened to that song at LEAST a million times! In fact, I can officially say that Tuesday Night Music Club is the first CD I ever bought myself. It was 1994, the first full year that Tim and I were married, and we got a big 'ol tax return for whatever reason. With it we bought ourselves furniture, and a stereo, and began to build our music collection. Naturally this involved REBUYING many albums that we already owned on tape or vinyl, which is another rant entirely, but Sheryl's CD was my first new listen.

Today, almost like a mantra, the words made work more tolerable. I would really like to do some more traveling, I am looking forward to summer off, I need some more new clothes as I have gone down like two sizes, and hey, Vera Bradley's new Starry Night pattern is too cute.

Yep, there are things you want, and there are things you just have to do.

Watched Oprah today, with Will and Jada Smith and their whole family. It was such an inspiring show. They talked all about relationships, and parenting, and about having a family plan, and about how to inspire you children, but to be sure to nurture the dreams that THEY have for THEMSELVES. Such a solid hour of advice, and from a seemingly genuine and grounded Hollywood couple. Who knew?

Then there is their new movie. Gwynn, naturally, was all interested in this new "Karate Kid." It is totally filmed in China, after all. I think the movie impressed her the least, but the story of the whole Smith family packing up and moving to China for 4 months to film, well she was all over that! And, really, so was I in a way. I mean, we go to a good enough school, and our kids do a lot, but BOY do I wish I was brave enough to just pack it all in, and GO! We could take our family on a wild adventure, teach them along the way, write the book...it would be a dream! But alas, then there's that money thing, eh?

You know, maybe Will and Jada would help out! I have a feeling that, as far as the movie goes, if they screw with "Wax on Wax off," I may have to have a little talk with them. I guess that would be the time I could bring it up! "Will, Jada, you see I had an idea for my family...and I know you have some spare cash..."

Sunday/Sundae

Today I was reminded by a friend about one of the truths of getting older, how much our perspective of bliss changes. I posted on Facebook that we were having a "kid free day" today, and were enjoying the "bliss"of being at home, alone, doing such things as laundry and lawnmowing. 20 years ago, I'd have seen today as a total drag, but today, it was just what I needed. Along with getting some much needed chores done, I had time to change my toenail polish, ( never call it "doing a pedicure" as I am more of a "slap it on" kinda girl ) finish a book that I have been reading for a while, and I even had time to just sit back and relax in the sun. Then it was a delicious Italian dinner at the Hollywood in Auburn, with mom and dad, to exchange kids. Finally, it was a gorgeous drive home, on a north west road, with low afternoon sun, and "deep cuts" by Elton John, Alan Parsons, and Joe Cocker playing on the radio. It really doesn't take that much to make me happy....and that statement shows the true bliss of life.

10th Sunday of my 40th year - OBVIOUS VICTORY CHERYL

Wine tour...need I say more? It was a fun day, full of food, wine and quotes. Of course, there was one that brought us the most peace..."Hey, at least my dad's not in the bathtub anymore..." Yeah, Jeff, that was a good one! Tim was an amazing tour guide, complete with shirt, and Sue and Cheryl provided musical entertainment on the way home, as well as at Bloomer Creek, where, oddly, we didn't even taste. Sunshine, on our shoulders, makes us happy afterall.

Musical night...need I say more? "Once Upon a Lily Pad"was wonderful! Gwynn is such a natural performer. She was too cute when I went to pick her up from the dressing room. She made sure we took one more tour across the stage before we left. She will be living in that auditorium in JrHigh and High School, I can see it now! Wings and feathers...she is flying!

...and somedays you just can't blog because you have already used up all of your writing magic. Um, yeah, working with Devin on his National Junior Honor Society application has JUST ABOUT put me over the edge this evening. Of course, the kid can't just write things...no...everything has to be discussed, in detail, and debated to the end. If he doesn't become a lawyer, lobbyist, or politician someday I'll eat my hat.
GOODNIGHT WORDS!

I know I was all musical this week, but about all I can muster up today is a quote from "Sixteen Candles." (Yikes, it is my Molly Ringwald fixation again...)

"I loathe the bus..."

Had a field trip today, to Memorial Art Gallery at the University of Rochester. Love it there, but not so much with third graders, at least not some years. Had one student kind of break down, a little freaked out by some of the darker religious art. Then another tried to touch the art not once, not twice, but MULTIPLE times. Yeah, some years are just that way.

Still, that wasn't the top moment of the day. La peice de resistance (if that is even how you spell it) was our 1 hour and 45 minute bus ride home. Now, granted, we are out in the boonies, but the trip usually takes 50 minutes. Factor in having to swing by the Irondequoit Salvation Army because one of the bus drivers left a cell phone there, and you have a whole differnet trip. Um, yeah, not quite sure I understand why that was a better thing to do with our time than let the kids play on the playground we were parked by having lunch, but who am I to say. I, apparently, was just along for the long, long, long ride.

Felt kinda like National Lampoon's Art Museum Field Trip...and I am just going to let it go at that.
But I still loathe the bus.

So, for real, from Judy Collins to Courtney Love? But I beg of you, stay with me.

It took me a really long time to choose an image to start off the blog. SO many images of Courtney show her as the train wreck that she oftentimes is. And I LOVE those images, not for a voyeristic reason, but more so for a "yeah, I've been there a few times in my life too..." reason. But, in the end, she is a musician. I went with a combo "trainwreck playing her guitar" kind of shot.

This past weekend I had another one of "my moments," and God knows that Tim gets sick of hearing about it, so, lucky all of you, I now have another audience! I got up on Sunday to read my Syracuse Post Standard. Coffee in hand, I discarded the front pages and went straight for the STARS magazine, happily finding Courtney Love playing her heart out on the cover. What struck me was that, just last week, my downloading desires tapped back into my somewhat fleeting love of 90's grunge. I "$1.29ed" to my heart's content downloading the likes of Pearl Jam, Garbage, and, yes, Hole. I have loved them for a long time...I mean, ya GOTTA love a band just for that name alone don't you? Not so much a Nirvana fan, barring "Smells Like Teen Spirit" of course, I mean, a song named after a deoderant? Again, you have to show some love for that kind of genius! (or maybe I am just a sucker for advertisement, but I think that is another, or several other, blogs) Still, I have always loved Hole, and not only did I download some of their old stuff last week, but got sucked into Courtney's worthy new offering, "Nobody's Daughter." In viewing that front page STARS magazine article, my 40 year old self felt so young, so current, so ahead of the curve! If I could just get people to give her a listen, though, I think they'd be pleasantly surprised.

Courtney takes you to so many places. I mean, right now, hearing "Violet" scream "GO ON take EVERYTHING, take EVERYTHING I want you to," is helping me over come my rage at the never ending state testing we have been subjected to this past month, and my contintued irritataion that now, teacher evaluation is going to be based on these damn tests. Go on, take everything, take all of my creativity Albany, I still have Hole.

"Someday, you will ache like I ache..."

I'm having a feeling that this week's posts are going to be musically based. Not sure why, except perhaps for the fact that Devin just had NYSSMA, and Gwynn has her first musical performance this Friday. Regardless, I have been immersed in my iTunes habit again...cheaper than therapy I say.

My family doesn't quite "get" my 70's singer songwriter thing. Of course the music I tend towards when hitting this particular genre of my addiction, does tend to be a little brooding and introspective so I suppose it does translate better to my earbuds than the household speaker system. As for the women at least, I have a small collection of Carol King, Carly Simon, Joni Mitchell, and, one of my real favorites, but a little less well known, perhaps, Judy Collins. This one I will blame on Mom. My mom had a few Judy Collins records, the rarities in her record collection as most of her albums were classical, but Judy walks that fine line a little more than most. Oh, her voice...so crystaline is the best word I can think of to describe.

The album" Judith" was one I loved as a highschool "drama rama," trying so hard to stand out and be unique if only through some different music choices and, always, funky silver jewelry. I remember making a mixed tape of songs off of that album, and "Wildflower" as well, and playing them, nightly, on my way to musical rehearsals my senior year. It was "Camelot" that year, and I, Morgan LeFay, listened to "Send in the Clowns" each and every night of run through/performance week, as I drove my little powder blue VW Rabbit to the stage.

I broke up with a boyfriend and referenced him to the song "The Moon's a Harsh Mistress" the next year, at the age of 19! HA!

I played "Born to the Breed" while pregnant with my son.

Those were real life moments that I had all but forgotten and here they are, resurfacing, as my fingers rattle the keys with Judy playing in my ears again. There is SUCH power in music.

Sunday/Sundae

No Dunkin Iced coffee today, but no worries. The Sunday Grumpies are far away. Had a great day today, starting with breakfast in bed. Tim and Gwynn made waffles and strawberries, and Devin, my egg chef, made two PERFECT fried eggs. What a great bunch. They even cleaned up! Then Mom and Dad came up for dinner. Tim was laughing that I was the only woman who WANTED to cook for Mother's Day, but, truthfully, it is relaxing for me, and as long as it is good, everyone enjoys it, and I have plenty of wine, what could be bad?

Today I am eternally grateful for my mom. She is an amazing woman who not only gave me life, but helped me learn to be the mom I am. I will never forget crying like a BABY when she left after spending a week with us when Devin was first born. In my whole life, I had always been successful at things, and always been able to study, and read, and be good at things. But here I was, left with this unpredictable being that came with NO OWNERS MANUAL! She was so natural at it, but I felt like a bumbling fool. Somehow I made it through, and low and behold Devin survived, and by the time Gwynn came along I was able to enjoy new babyhood, but I will always be eternally grateful for all the advice and help my mother gave me. She was, and still is, and will always be, my rock. Thanks mom!

Today I avoided the Sunday Grumpies by...
1. Just being a mom, and being with my mom. Happy Mother's Day to ALL my mom friends and family!

9th Sunday of my 40th year - VICTORY CHERYL

Today's Random Thoughts...

1. Sleeping in really really really makes me happy...even if sleeping in is only 8:30 AM.

2. Hard work pays off. Devin had solo festival today in Fulton. He "kind of forgot" to get a solo for a while, then had it and kind of forgot to practice. He could have quit, but we said no, held his feet to the fire, and got him through his solo in about two weeks of hard work. Hats off to his wonderful band teacher too, who stayed after with him every night. Devin wasn't thrilled with a Good rating...one point from Excellent...but I think it was the perfect score. He saw what good he could do in a short time, but also saw what he could have had. It is really bizarre for me as this same scenario happened to me in 6th grade...and I did quit. It was one of the few times my parents EVER let me quit something I had committed to. Ahhh, life lessons. They are many.

3. Bought my first pair of size 12 pants like EVER in my adult life today. Very exciting!

4. Panera's Fuji Apple Chicken salad...if you have never had it, TRY IT! It is SO SO SO good!

5. Going to settle in now for a windy night of time with my hubby, movie perhaps, and a Smirnoff Blueberry Lemonade...also so good, but even better with a shot of vanilla vodka added to it ...seriously...try that too!

6. How AM I losing weight when, obviously, I am food and drink obsessed? Ahhh, mysteries of life. They are many as well.

...and another night comes where blogging is less important than time with a friend. SO enjoyed a few glasses of wine and Sue and Cheryl 7x7+ instead of our normal 7:) LOOK at that MATH!

How much do I LOVE the SUN? Again, today, a beautiful sunny day did so much for my spirit. It has certainly been a hard week, as I have shared, but today, the bright sun buoyed me through. It was pretty chilly, even, but it just didn't matter, because there was SUN!

And you know, people in Upstate NY hear so much about how the snow must be the thing that just drags them down, but I want to go on record and say, it's not the snow. We live in upstate New York, and we get a LOT of it. We anticipate it, worry about it, and deal with it constantly. It is, at the very least, the opener of most conversations from December - March. We complain and complain and complain, and I will not make any excuses for myself, I am right there with the complainers complaining away. But it is not the snow, it is the lack of the SUN that gets us into those winter blahs. The same thing can happen in the spring, summer and fall months. Blahs come then as well. Remember last summer, and how cold and rainy it was? Remember days and days with very little sun? I rest my case.

One of my "lines" that I joke about regularly with Tim is, "Hey, that's my tattoo!" It is right up there with "Hey, that's my book" and "Hey, I am really into ___________ right now!" Now, I have no issues with tattoos, am not afraid of the pain, but the thing is, I might have gotten married at 22, but other than that, I have a really hard time with commitment. Therefore, I just can't imagine what I could commit to having inked on my body for the REST OF MY LIFE. Today, I could almost say, "Hey, the sun! THAT'S my tattoo!"

Just had to go with this quote to start tonight's blog. We are in the middle of the second week in a row of state testing, and am starting to think that the New York Department of Education did this on purpose just to see how many teachers might run screaming from their classrooms. Even in the best of classroom settings, the kids are getting a little fed up and squirrelly. Add to that the interesting nature of my class this year and you MIGHT begin to feel my pain. Then there is the fact that next week we get to grade these beauties, and the week after that, just because we need a little more fun, New York State has decided we can do some field testing as well. Let me just tell you how much I LOVE NEW YORK!
(so much for my striving for happiness from yesterday...get back to me tomorrow and we'll see...)

"Thanks Oprah, for the Breathing Space!"

Taking a break today, but putting out some thoughts on happiness, one from a friend's FB page...thanks Marcia, one FROM Oprah magazine this month, and one from a musical that is near and dear to my heart.

"People tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will descend like fine weather if you're fortunate. But happiness is the result of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly." - Elizabeth Gilbert

"I have so much of what I want in life. SO, what if we just decide that we have enough? That we are enough? And therein lies my happy. Remembering and believing that I am enough. That all the self-improvements that I have on my list don't mean that the self that I am now isn't OK. Happiness, my happiness, is right here. In this moment. Right now. I'm standing in it. I am knee deep in my happy. I just needed to look around to see it." - Shonda Rhimes

"Happiness is...morning and evening, daytime and nightime too. For happiness, is anyone, or anything at all, that's loved by you." - You're a Good Man Charlie Brown.

Be HAPPY!

I believe I am over my grumpies. Tim helped me to put it in perspective last night. He said, "You know it is because it is not only Sunday night, but you are also REALLY home from vacation." We had a week in Key West discovering new things, then a week reliving that fun time, and then what? Today, it was really, truly, just plain, old, back to work. Blah. But, ya know, I got through it, and am feeling an upswing. And I suppose I've got to work to pay the bills, and to put away cash for the next great travel adventure as well!

Funny thing too, as I went to the kitchen, ironically to pay said bills, after Tim and I had that discussion, I used the LAST of our tropical background checks. Our new set has scenes of Europe...hmmmm...

So you might be wondering why the fennel bulbs at the top? Well, tonight, I cooked fennel for the first time, and it was absolutely delicious! I decided I'd put in a recipe tonight, so here goes...

Fennel Sausage and Gemelli

Boil salted water and cook Gemelli pasta to taste.

As that cooks, brown two pounds of bulk sausage...I used 1 lb sweet and 1 lb hot. Once browned remove to a platter lined with paper towels.

In the same pan, add about a tablespoon of olive oil and sautee 1 large onion, two fennel bulbs, sliced, 2 tablespoons of minced garlic, salt and pepper, until all vegetables are beginning to get soft.

Add one 28 oz can of Muir Glen Fire Roasted Diced Tomatos. Let all of this simmer together for 5 min. or so and then add the sausage back in. Allow to simmer for another 5 minutes. I finished the sauce with a couple of tablespoons of butter...naughty, I know, but it looked too damn good not to put in the extra effort.

Serve over the noodles, and top with shredded motzerella and grated parmesan. It'd be FABULOUS with a lighter red wine too!

If fennel bulbs look intimidating they are not AT ALL! Cut the fronds right off, then quarter them and finally slice thin...kind of like celery if you had pieces of it in a salad. It may be called anise in the grocery store as well, and is kind of a cross between celery and licorice...in a way. Try it, you never know!

Sunday/Sundae

Could really use a sundae today...to help me with the SUNDAY GRUMPIES! Yeah, for the amount of time that they stayed away, they hit me hard today. I can't even really put my finger on why I feel grumpy, I just do. Tim took the kids to the movies today, and to get a few groceries, and I figured four hours to myself would bring me out, but no, still there, just feeling blah. Maybe I should blame Ke$ha...listening to "Blah Blah Blah" too much MADE me blah...Hmmmmm...

Then again, it could also be not having my after grocery shopping iced coffee...Hmmmmm...

Then again, it could be that I was on vacation in Key West not so long ago, and this past week was the first week back to school, and it was fun to see everyone, but now, we're just into the long haul to the end...Hmmmmm...

Then again it could be the kinda icky "heat but no sun" combination of weather we have had...Hmmmmm...

Whatever it is, or was, I am hoping a good night's sleep takes it away.
8th Sunday of my 40th year - VICTORY SUNDAY GRUMPIES

It was really a great Saturday...some sun at times...nice warm temps...felt like summer. Being upstate NY and all, I am sure we'll be back to 40's by Monday, but I'll take what I can get.

Today's Random Thoughts...

1. Another CD from Sue, that I'd recommend to others, "The Script." Really fun beats, and great lyrics too. You know, I know I am 39 and all, I know, and in that state I am awfully mindful about age, and I am finding that young or old, am still so drawn to music, new and old alike. For example, this CD. Second case in point, I just downloaded some songs off of Hole's new CD, "Nobody's Daughter," as well as some classics like "Celebrity Skin" and "Malibu" and such...they're bringing 90's grunge back to my ears at this moment. At the same time, I downloaded that song "Blah Blah Blah!," by Kesha, which is just the BEST thing to listen to before a staff meeting. Will there come a day when I am NOT interested in music? Just SUCH a recharge!

2. Mother/Daughter shopping days can be a whole lot of fun! G and I had the first trip to Rudy's today, and then hit Your House Your Home, and finally JCPenney's. Good old Oswego shopping...it really is amazing the damage I can do with few resources! She and I bought these matching rings today...and I know the day will come when she BRISTLES at the THOUGHT of us having matching ANYTHING...but for today, it was just a lot of fun!

3. Boys are a riot. Devin had his friend Anthony over, and it is amazing how they can move from screen, to screen, to screen sometimes. TV, computer, Wii, DS. We don't usually allow that, but they had fun today, and sometimes, you just need to do what you like to do to UNWIND.

4. Tim and I realized last night that we ARE the Steve Miller song "Rockin' Me" with the whole "We'll have a boy for you, we'll have a girl for me," line as Devin is a male me, and Gwynn a female him...weird.

5. Blueberry Lemonade Smirnoff...yum...try it...

OK, that is enough for today...check it off the list...I wrote. I am kinda proud. Today marks two whole months sticking with this. Today also marks Derby Day...the 17th anniversary of our senior year "Bridge Street Run," and, to my knowledge, Kathy, you DID end up with the Sharpie! You almost died at the Forks, yeah, but what a memory! Our wild youth - um, yeah - our kids are now closer to reaching that stage than we are away from it. Where IS that Smirnoff?