“Self Improvement Trumps Self Destruction”

I have been thinking a lot lately, about the schoolyear, reflecting, as I always do, on the year that has gone by. It has been a long one, longer than most in many ways. In seventeen years as a teacher, and near as many classes, I often think that classes get bad raps. But this year, in a lot of ways, I had “the bad class.” I won’t mention names, but there were challenging students, on multiple levels, and less support than would have been preferable. Still, I did my job. Even at the end of the year, when, along with the behavioral, emotional and educational needs present in the room at all times, we had multiple deaths plague us, some of the “typical” variety and some of the “tragic” variety, I held things together, for myself and for my students. In fact, as the year has come to a close, and my kids have shown the growth that they have made, I have enjoyed them more. A day I was dreading, Grandparent’s Day, actually turned out to be one of our nicest moments as a class.

They grow, sometimes regardless of what we try to do, they always do. They are kids.

Last night, I was observing them and talking to my husband during the third grade chorus concert. I said to him, “HOW did I manage to stop biting my nails, lose 15 pounds, and grow my bangs out for the very first time in my life with all of THAT going on in my classroom!?!?” I mean, here we were at a concert, and the motley crew up there, well, let’s just say, most of the motleys were “mine.” His statement to me, “Well, I guess you chose self improvement over self destruction, eh?” I had to admit he was right. Instead of going off the deep end, and spending my year in despair, lamenting my bad luck and misfortune, I turned my focus away from the bad, and did some good, for ME.

So, with that in mind, my personal goal next year is to keep that thought in my mind as a mantra of sorts. I want to move to 4th grade, and keep my sanity intact. Moreover, I want to maintain my weight, continue to grow my hair and nails, take care of some health issues that I have been putting off, and enter my 40’s well, and happy. A happy healthy person makes for a happy healthy teacher. I am facing another year with this crew, but attitude means so much. Perspective is so important. It is with the right attitude, and a positive perspective, I look forward to 2010-2011.

-Cheryl Howell