It is the auspicious last "Coconut Friday" of 2010...but this blog is going to sound more like a "Saturday's Randomness," after having been on an extended blogging vacation. I fell off the connectedness map, to tell the truth, and it was much, much, much needed. In 7 days virtually computer free, by choice, my mind quieted, I enjoyed my family, I slept, I talked, I read, I celebrated, I did whatever it was I wanted, no restraints, no alarms, no obligations, no lists...pure BLISS.

December 23rd brought a full day of 4th graders and pre Christmas excitement.
The 24th was a busy day, preparing as a family, and even making Shepard's Pie for dinner...for the shepards, ya know...might become a new Howell family tradition, time will tell.
Then the 25th and 26th were wonderful Christmas Days, with my family, and then Tim's.
The 27th and 28th brought the inevitable crash of jammie days.
Still, the 29th and 30th ushered in the reconnection with Tim's and my "fabulous date night," Mom's and my "great shopping day," and lunch date, and also, of course, Katie's birthday, repleat with Indian food galore, which I discovered that I LOVE! (learned that I like good scotch over break too, but that story may be for another day:)

Phew! Makes me tired just looking at it! And life is constantly like that around here...there are few days these days that aren't chock full of something, but, once December 25th was over, I felt free of any and all obligation for a little while, blog included. This blog is a committment to ME to write everyday, and has been in the back of my mind each and every day since March 2nd, but as the project comes to a close, I can see it winding down. I enjoy, even crave, some time away from it, but know I will come back. It has become a good habit. I have learned that I can committ to something, and keep at it, with self discipline and self discipline alone. I have learned that sometimes I have a lot to say, sometimes a little. I have created a snapshot of my 40th year, for myself, and for my kids, someday, to know who their crazy mother was at this time in her life.

Most of all, I have done for myself, perhaps, what I most wanted to do in the first place. I have proven to myself, that I truly am a writer.

With that said, welcome 2011. My 40th birthday is on the horizon, and I am looking forward to its promise of a new phase in my life. I am anxious, and excited, to start anew.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Too much to do, too little time! No matter how I schedule/manage/try to outsmart Christmas it always gets me! I don't know what I am doing wrong. Still have a full day of teaching ahead of me tomorrow, though, so I guess the wise strategy would be to take one hurdle at a time. Also, the surrender is necessary. Christmas is gonna be here on the 25th no matter what, so I guess I'd best 1. Get off my blog and FB 2. Get on with what I need to do 3. ENJOY the ride!

Dear Santa,
I know it is a little late in the game, but if I could put in a last minute Christmas request that would just be great. I thought I wanted the Barbie doll with a video camera in her neck, and an LCD screen on her back, but I was mistaken. I now know that I desperately want "Sweet Talking Ken." He is amazing! I can talk into him, and he will say back, in his own non threatening semi masculine voice, exactly what I want him to say! What more could I ask for in a toy? Just so you know my intentions are pure, I will explain to you the top 5 things I plan to record into my Ken doll on Christmas morning...

"I think you look exactly like Elle MacPhereson, in particular back in her Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition hayday."
"Let's go to Paris, tonight."
"Dinner? Why I already planned, shopped for, made it, and will be serving it to you, tonight."
"I cleaned the whole house and did all the laundry. I even sorted the delicates"
"I love a good chick flick."

I do worry a bit about the young girls that will receive this as a gift this Christmas. It certainly could set up some high expectations. Then again, maybe I should worry about all the young boys that will never be able to meet said expectations. But for a girl about to turn 40, it's a hell of a laugh!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Santa,
Cheryl

It was so nice to have a husband with a birthday tonight. Tim voted on dinner out at Red Sun in Oswego for his 41st, so we drove in, with Gwynn in the back seat singing, "I'm in the mood for wood grilled food!" Too funny! Delicious wood grilled pizza was had by all, and brownies at home for dessert. Happy Birthday Tim, and thank you for traversing 40 before me...clearing the path so to speak...being my guide. Just as a side note, though, do remember, I am still in my 30's, at least for another couple of months! HA!

Phew! Another whirlwind of a weekend blows by us! Had a great one, though. Friday night we went out to dinner with Devin and relaxed at home, but Gwynn was at Emma's 10th birthday sleepover...the first of the girls to turn ten. Wow! As my strangely perceptive daughter has shared with me though, "Once you HIT double digits, you generally DIE when you are a double digit, so maybe this is not good." The girl has a point.
Then Saturday morning got us down to Lansing, and we tooled around and did some last minute shopping, then got all gussied up to go to the 60th Annual Howell Family Christmas party. Wonderful company, food, and champagne a plenty. A good time was had by all.
Finally, today, we did some celebrating for Tim's 41st birthday tomorrow.
It was a busy one, but the blessings that abound in our lives were very apparent as well. I am so fortunate, and thankful.
May the busy week before Christmas begin.

"Coconut Friday"
Mostly a good day, and it is a full week over, leading into a "just have to get through it" kind of 4 day week, and then the HOLIDAYS! I can't wait! I suppose the irony of this particular coconut Friday, is that I spent a part of it assembling my sister in law's Christmas gift, hoping it will bring her coconut Fridays of her own. May the coconut be with you...kick back, relax, and have a wonderful Friday, and weekend.

The hamster wheel is spinning again. Not only was it my first day back to work post vein surgery, but it was also my student teacher's last day. Then it was home, only to run out again and go to Devin's Concert Band and Jazz Band performances. Mom and Dad came up for the concert, so afterwards it was back to the house for Geena's gingerbread, ice cream, and accolades. Then, after tucking kids in bed, I still had to complete Shutterfly calendars to get the free shipping that ends today. Phew! Good thing Tim had uploaded pictures a while ago, and Gwynn helped out in the making of the calendars today after school. Teamwork. That's what makes our crazy, busy life possible I guess. I do have to say, that I chose the particular hamster image you see tonight because it looked like my Russian Dwarf hamster, Ursula, may she rest in peace. She was Tim's and my first pet, procured because we couldn't have dogs or cats in our apartment and I wanted "Something to take care of besides me." Well, I sure do have it now, eh? Be careful what you wish for! HA!

Falling asleep on the couch at 8:30 pm is not conducive to blogging. Good night.

Sitting around really makes you tired.

Had my leg surgery yesterday, and today was sit around, eleveate, ice and rest day. Just that and I am whipped! I guess it shows that, perhaps as we age a bit, even a simple procedure can take a lot out of you. Of course the stress and organization that leads up to a simple procedure, when you have responsibilities like full time jobs, and kids, and a dog, come into play as well. Life is never easy...there is always something to be coordinated, and Monday, that was just amplified.

Today, the kids had a snowday, which was great as I had some people around to keep me company and to help out. We did NOTHING today, all day, seriously nothing, and still, I am TOTALLY ready for bed! I am taking tomorrow off as well, to rebuild energy, and to clean myself! I can take my bandages off at noon, and can't wait to climb in the shower after that! I feel like ick...but ick on the mend...so goodnight, and hope to be back to my full self by tomorrow night. Maybe I'll write something real and not just the geriatric report.

So, we've reached the time in our lives where, to get a date day with eachother, one of us needs to be having surgery, apparently. Just kidding, but it was funny today, shipping the kids off to school, only to head down to Syracuse so I could have my varicose veins taken care of. All went well. In fact, the procedure was so painless that if it had taken any longer I probably would've fallen asleep. Am sore now, and annoyed by my mammoth girth of dressings and ace bandages, but the day was a good one. I had a date, an almost nap, and took care of a medical need to boot...it doesn't get much better than that...well, when you're almost 40 that is;)

Sunday Grumpies are here in full force, and I don't even have to go to work tomorrow. I do have to get upstairs, though, and wash myself down with antibacterial surgical scrub, go to bed, do the same tomorrow, and then go have my varicose veins taken care of. I should be happy. I do feel thankful that I can get this done, and that it will be covered by my insurance. But I am grumpy nonetheless. Not even tree decorating, "The Nutcracker" on DVD, yummy dinner, and eggnog for dessert helped. Sometimes you can have a plan for those Sunday Grumpies, and they beat you down just the same. Oh well. Off to scrub.

"Saturday's Randomness"
Just a note today. A piece of advice, actually. One should not get a tree, Christmas shop, and grocery shop all in one day. I am EXHAUSTED! Oh well, it is all part of the season, isn't it? Curling up on the couch in a minute, for a movie with my hubby and a glass of wine. I deserve it today!

Best Coconut Friday EVER! Started with pizza and beer, then watched "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation," for the bazillionth time ourselves, but for the first time with the kids.

As a mom moment here, I will warn that the movie has a few language moments for sure, but nothing worse than they hear on the bus, or than I head from Great Uncle George when I was a kid. What was the line? Oh yeah, "DO NOT repeat anything your Uncle George says!" Family...ahhh...family.

Never really realized, too, that "Christmas Vacation" is a John Hughes film.

Had a funny moment of connection with Clark, as he was going off on his boss about the Jelly of the Month Club, given as the bonus of his 17th year with his company. I am in my 17th working year as well. Sigh. Just me and Clark. Traversing those mid-life blues. Maybe I'll put in a pool this summer...the Clark W. Griswold Family pool.
Sigh.
Oh to dream!
Happy Friday to all and to all a Good Night!

Had Gwynn's Holiday concert tonight...her first in Band with her saxophone, and Chorus...and Chamber Ensemble...and Select Chorus...and...and...and...Let's just say she was a busy girl, and we were proud parents.

My heart always swells when we get to go to the kids' musical performances. Each and every time I am taken back to my own days performing. I loved it so much. Band was my "big thing," as you couldn't really be in both band AND chorus at our school, until they finally rearranged the schedules my senior year. That was the first time I got to sing in a group, and I got to go on to All County and Area All State that year as well. I will never forget that experience, and what it felt like to be surrounded by all of those human voices. To this day, it's the choral singing that really gets me. Someday, I want to find a way, and the right place and group, to sing again.

Music truly does touch a different part of me, deep in my soul. I am thankful tonight for that.

"All Shopped Out"
I am a little "off" on my blogging, I must say. I just am running low on deep insight and ponderings. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and blame the holidays. I have just been so busy, and each night there is something, little or big, that MUST be done to prepare. Tonight, it is making final decisions on the last of the online shopping I have to do. I mean, I love to shop, but even I am getting a little burned out on it. Go figure, my school orders are due this month too. As if I want to do a little more shopping, not to mention for a school year that is 9+ months away. Sigh. I do promise to mellow out and get interesting again soon, but for now, sorry, this is it.

A very musical day indeed. Started out with a two hour delay, where I languished with my second cup of coffee, Sting on GMA, and Sheryl Crow on Racheal Ray. Then, after driving back and forth to Red Creek ramming kids here and there, I got to curl up and watch the Glee Christmas episode. We actually bought the CD after Thanksgiving, so it was such fun to see the songs come to life. And the Grinch thread of the storyline...brilliant! I am sure I will be singing in my dreams.

I have been SO COLD all day long! I should have been ready for winter. Usually in Upstate NY it starts to snow around Halloween. Here we are with our most marked snowfall to date, and it is December 6th, and seriously, I can't take it! Maybe it is the fact that at the same time the temps have plunged to the 20's. Whatever it is...I am too FREAKING COLD to type tonight! I made a nice warm dinner...beef in wine sauce over rice, which helped, but I am beginning the evening shut down. It is time for the Cymbalta blanket and some TV then BED! Sorry. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Spent the day today decorating for Christmas. The kids helped a lot, in particular with the Santa Village. All is up except the tree, which we will get next week. Naturally, holiday music was playing all day, and I kept mentioning which songs were my favorites...so here they are...top 5...in no particular order...with annotation, naturally.

1. "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" (Pretenders' version from A Very Special Christmas Volume 1...through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow...love that line...)

2. "My Favorite Things" (Sound of Music version if I am feeling traditional, Diana Ross version if I am feeling glamorous)

3. "What Are You Doing New Years Eve?" (...as New Year, really, is my favorite holiday)

4. "Chesnuts..." (Ok, so I know it is called "The Christmas Song" and all, but everyone calls it "Chesnuts..." and you know you laugh the minute you hear anyone over-singing that first word)

5. The WHOLE Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack (because it just wouldn't be Christmas without it, would it?)

Runners up may need to make an appearance later in the advent season, but for now, off to iTunes you go:) Enjoy!

"Saturday Randomness"
No blog last night as we had a WONDERFUL Christmas Party with our friends at Jeanne's new house in Syracuse. It is always such a blessing to have time with friends who are like family. It was a "big night" for Barry, I learned that you shouldn't put balsamic vinegar in cole slaw, and Nancy lost Sammy at one point, but all in all, it was a great night.
Today brought festive holiday preparations and some shopping. I hit all the local stores, and it was such fun. Then they all did beautiful gift wrapping, free, to boot. You really should shop local...downtown Oswego...who knew.
Finally, noodle bowls for dinner...in my new pottery made by Jeanne...and "Elf" with the family.
It was a great day. HoHoHo!

Memories blur, blend and fade.
Tonight I got out my Shawn Colvin "Holiday Songs and Lullibies" CD that I pack away with my Christmas music each year, but really, it takes me back to the baby years. I recall very clearly the moment when I had to buy the CD. I saw a Johnson and Johnson ad with Shawn singing a snippet of "All the Pretty Little Horses." It was filmed with her on a stool, with a guitar, very stark, in black and white. It literally brought me to tears, on the couch, amidst laundry chaos.

Chronologically, I know this was pre iTunes days, and really, pre high speed internet as well...back when the internet was more a pain than anything else. Still, I searched until I found the song, then the CD, and ordered up a bunch of them on amazon. I know I gave them to Sue, and to Katie, but am not sure who else. Here's the memory kicker though. The thing that is bugging me. I can recall the moment clearly, having to buy the CD, feeling the music deeply, but can't remember if I bought the CD while just a mom to Devin, pregnant with Gwynn, or mother of two! I know it was sometime from 1999-2001, but that's it.

The songs take me right back to feelings and moments, but back to the blended days of baby raising. "Now the Day is Over" and "Rocking" remind me of Devin, as does "Evening is a Little Boy." "The Night Will Never Stay," mocked me at the time when I was sleep deprived, but makes total sense now. Yet, the CD was purchased specifically because of "All The Pretty Little Horses," and that was the song I sang to Gwynn, each and every night, when we read and rocked in her room, just before she peacefully, and so independently, laid down on her own, in her perfect white crib with angel bedding and fell asleep.

All is not lost. There is always a solution. I know I will be able to go to Katie, or to Sue, or to other people with more precise memories than me, to figure out the days and dates of my memories. I will be able to pinpoint when I bought this CD and the world will go on. But I am also reminded, suddenly, of why I keep this blog. Memories blur, blend, fade, and I write to preserve the memories of the everyday...the memories of the moments...the memories that are my life.

I am reminiscing about Happy December Day today. A made up holiday, yes, by Nancy and myself, back in our Oswego State days, but a worthy, and perhaps necessary one if I do say so myself. Deeply embroiled in end of the semester bedlam, we refused to ignore the upcoming joyous holiday. We declared Happy December Day on December 1st freshman year, and spent the day listening to Christmas music, writing out Christmas cards, decorating our meager little rooms, and drinking Suisse Mocha, aka Starter Coffee. We got started on our decorating here tonight, and began to celebrate the moments of our life. Happy December Day to all and to all a good night.