It's another THANK YOU OPRAH "Breathing Space" kinda day. We have had a busy week, and Easter is coming up. Then there's more teaching, parent teacher conferences, and report cards, before we finally reach VACATION! Two and a half weeks...I know I can make it.

On the bill for tonight was Devin's District Concert, with all groups 4th-12th grade performing. I always enjoy his concerts so much, look forward to Gwynn getting involved starting next year, and also, think back so happily on my days in chorus and band. I don't miss highschool, persay, but I miss all of the performing I did in both musical and drama groups of all kind. I think it is something I will get back into when demands with kids aren't so heavy, but for now, supporting them in all they are excited to do is enough for me. They are my musical joy.

A quote from the program tonight, just to ponder...

"If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music."
-Albert Einstein

Today's Topic - How much I HATE Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs

These damn candies are my diet downfall every year at this time! I thought I had foiled them, faced them even as I bought a package while out shopping this weekend. ONLY one. I knew with life being as crazy as it is, there would be no other time to get out and get more for Easter baskets. I purchased them, wrapped them tight in their Target bag, and stashed them in the back of my closet, forgotten...out of sight and out of mind. Then my STUPID HUSBAND brought a package of them home tonight! Jerk.

It is just one of the many, many foods that just can't be in my house. Aforementioned in this blog, cheese puffs and Cheetos...they are just a great big NO! French Onion dip, generally a no. LIME Tostitos I will allow, since tortilla chips and salsa, in the relm of snack foods, are relatively healthy, but the LIME Tostitos I swear are laced with CRACK! Do you see a pattern, chippy dippy salty snacks are my downfall. Of course Tim is the total opposite and has a total sweet tooth, so generally, at our house, we are screwed...damned to be fat. I am always saying to Tim, "God, we are such PIGS," but his response is always the same, "Have you ever seen an unhappy pig?"

Think it is time to stop worrying about the snack foods and perhaps replace the husband!

"Caribbean Dreaming"

We colored eggs tonight, never quite replicating the "Caribbean Egg of 2009." Gwynn did that one, and it was just days before Tim and I were headed to Puerto Rico for a second (first, really) honeymoon. We got there and took one look at the water and remembered that EGG! It was uncanny how truly tropical blue she got it! Still, tonight's eggs brought color into an otherwise wishy-washy dreary kind of day.

It is that time of year, after all, in Upstate NY, when you really just want to get the hell out. Heading to Puerto Rico last year was heavenly. We have some ideas brewing for our upcoming April vacation, of some warm weather travel, but I am not banking on them yet. It is just that we have been in a deep freeze for so long, and this past month we have had tastes of nice weather, but it has been followed with more cold, or wind, or rain. 70's are promised for this weekend, but I don't trust them. Who's to say we won't be back down in the 40's by next Wednesday? I need some warmth and some SUN!

That being what it is, I am thinking of painting my nails OPI's Hawaiian Orchid...wishful thinking through nailpolish...a girl can dream, can't she?

Sunday/Sundae

Seem to be avoiding the Sunday Grumpies due to the following...

1. My DD iced coffee post Sunday grocery shopping...could be a trend, eh?
2. A wonderful day with a wonderful "sister/friend," yesterday
3. Promise of warmer weather by the end of the week...70's, yeah!

4th Sunday of my 40th year - VICTORY CHERYL

So today is another "Encore Presentation" from my other blog. I wrote this in November of last year, kind of slamming myself for not committing to writing. As we approach a one month anniversary of THIS blog, I just felt it was appropriate.



"A girl in a hat is just, so, Vogue..."

Was feeling kinda vogue today (well, as vogue as one gets in a rural elementary school...) as I took to work in my new shirt, layered with a cami, and sporting the perfectly coordinated necklace. Got a lot of compliments too, and replied to each with the fact that I picked up the cute new shirt on a shopping trip to Bass Pro Shops of all places. I am beginning to think, though, that as much as some people have NO ability to shop, I could shop in a BOX.

This picture has been on my desktop for a while. I often see an image that prompts an idea that I want to blog about and drop it onto my desktop for the time I will get a moment...but as I looked today I realized I had enough saved images to keep me busy blogging for many a day. And yet, how many written blogs do I have for all my image ridden inspiration? How many words on a page do I commit to the deep ponderings in my head? Why is this? I will explain it away time and again as "no time to write," but really, is that true? We all have time in our lives for what we want to value, what we want to commit ourselves to. There is work, and home maintenance...there is what must be done...but what of those things we aspire to do. I know that the thing I aspire to, the thing I WANT to do, the writing, I have not committed to as of late. Distractions abound, and I need to, at times, push them aside.

The saving of this image was also prompted by that wonderful title...Seventeen...title of magazine...time in life. Oh to be seventeen again. I mean, truly, I would not wish for it. Seveneteen was the end of 11th grade and beginning of 12th. It WAS a fun time, but do I want to go back? No. It is over, and highschool is not something I have ever spent a long time longing for. It is a good memory, but over, and perhaps it is because I work in a school each and every day, I do not want to go back to that.

Twenties. These were good times. First there were early twenties, and college twenties. There are many, many, many times I would go back and relive there. Now, would I want to go back entirely to days of Kraft Mac and Cheese, and no money? No, but it sure would be a fun place to visit. Then there were later twenties, young and married and working and living on our own. Again, would I go back entirely to days of responsibility that we didn't really quite understand? No, but a weekend getaway? Perhaps.

Now, deeply into my "thirtysomethings," and anticipating my mate making that jump into his 40's, I wonder if, in the future, we'll want to go back to NOW. I would anticipate that life will only get better from here on out...I am a Pollyanna afterall...but the thirties have been so rich...stable life, a home, kids, friends, finally the money, travel. I finally feel like we are ticking off the "what I want to do in life" list, but at times do I still long to go back, yes. Do I feel maudlin that so many of the "firsts" of life are behind me, yes. Do I wonder if I could have followed a different path at times and in different situations, yes. I suppose time will tell. We will finish thirtysomething, and move into the forties, leaving seventeen far behind...behind, but not forgotten.
-Cheryl
Posted by Cheryl and Sue at 5:23 PM 0 comments

Somedays are not for blogging...somedays are for living life...with friends.

One of the reasons I pushed myself to do this blog, and to write EVERYDAY is because I found myself regularly having the time to come up with witty status updates for my Facebook page. In a moment of clarity, figured out that if I could be witty in little spurts, stringing a few together might actually equate to real writing. Well, who knew, it is actually proving to be true. You DO in fact find the time to do what you put your mind to.

Well, today, as a tribute to my initial inspiration, I wrote down status updates throughout my day...what I might have said on Facebook if it were not blocked at my school. Mature...I know...but it WAS fun!

Cheryl Southard Howell drives too fast when good songs are on the radio.

Cheryl Southard Howell is happy to have Cuyler Crew today, and that someone made that blueberry coconut stuff...yum!

Cheryl Southard Howell is hearing the familar sound of a certain rolling backpack coming down that hall...sigh.

Cheryl Southard Howell thinks the book Molly Moon's Incredible Book of Hypnotism is one of her favorite read alouds EVER!

Cheryl Southard Howell thinks the school pizza is pretty OK today.

Cheryl Southard Howell is thinking she might just make it through the day.

Cheryl Southard Howell is not sure WHY she said she would dismiss her colleague's class.

Cheryl Southard Howell is exceedingly happy to be home.

Cheryl Southard Howell just dropped Gwynn off for a sleepover party and should not complain about her house being small.

Cheryl Southard Howell is making not so healthy nachos for dinner.

Cheryl Southard Howell thinks that if she adds real lime to her Bud Light with Lime it is KIND OF like a health drink.

So, that takes us to now, and a few more Bud Lights with Lime.
Happy Friday to all and to all a GOOD night!

Just took a hit of iTunes. I have a problem. An iTunes problem. It is like a dollar store for me, although they pumped a lot of their prices up to $1.29, and that annoys me to no end, but still, do I stop? Signs of addiction all point here.

I was on that Duran Duran kick a couple of days ago, so today, poking around iTunes, I found all of these obscure tunes...a solo one from Andy Taylor, that I did remember, "Take it Easy." Good rocking out tune. There was this techno"ish" song "Nobody Knows, " by Simon LeBon that I just had to have. Then there was finding THE song John Taylor wrote for the movie "9 1/2 Weeks," called "I Do What I Do." Yum. Anyone for raiding the refridgerator?

Moving on from my Fab 5, there was another find. I have obsessions with certain songs, and also an obsession with cover songs. The song is, "Hello, It's Me," by Todd Rundgren, which I have in my iTunes library in its original version, and covered by 3 different groups. Well, tonight, that grew to 4. Like I said, addiction. Then again, yesterday was so crappy with my damn ticket, and today was so yucky and rainy, doesn't a girl deserve a little something to get her through a gloomy Thursday?

Seriously, that is about all I have for today. I am just feeling a great big void today, in life and existence, and as far as writing goes too. Most days, since I have started this blog, either a topic has come to me...again, reference yesterday...or I have changed my way of looking at the world in such a way that I see topics and ideas everywhere I go. Today, I was just getting through the day. It has just been such a rough, long, dreary week.

Life has just changed so much, the last few years or so. As the kids have gotten older, there are so many more committments, even for our kids who are NOT overscheduled. Then there are the weekends, where we, occationally, get into patterns where we are simply accomodating our children's social lives, while we have none of our own. Tim and I communicate more through email at work, some days than we do at home. There, we joke, we flirt, but then we come home and the flirty fun is replaced by piano lessons, or dance, or scouts, laundry, bills, phone calls, baths, homework...you name it. It is getting through, alright, but at times, it is not really so much fun.

iTunes, take me away.

SO, how much is that coffee REALLY costing you?

So, today started out reasonably well. Sun was shining, my crazy class was pretty OK, and I knew I was going to be leaving school at 3 or so to go to the gynecologist. Yeah, I was seeing that as good because 1. It was getting me out of work early 2. I really do like my gynecologist as he's a talker and always has interesting information to share or stories to tell and 3. The doctor visit was merely "a stop on my way to the mall" as Sue always says, as I planned to stop out to JCPenney's to use my $15 off birthday month certificate. Yeah, things were pretty OK.

Well, let's fast forward. Got done at the Dr's too late to shop so I headed home, but stopped at Dunkin for an iced coffee. They totally screwed up my order, and I drove away clearly thinking, "Hmmm, maybe I will blog about wasting $2.47 on crappy coffee today." As I drove, annoyed, and admittedly on auto pilot, I tuned the radio to a commedian, and got giggling a bit. I figured there was no reason bad coffee should ruin my night, when what do I see in my rearview mirror but those familar red lights. I was most certainly getting pulled over, and after a lovely exchange where I tried to be nice to the happy happy officer, I found out I was being pulled over for going 60 in a 40! Great. He was such a personable guy, I could tell, talking was going to get me nowhere, so I drove home, figuring we'd deal with it there.

Finally, to just top off the fiasco, as I drove in my driveway, I felt a crack, and my sunglasses fell right off my face, no warning! At this point there was nothing else to do but laugh. So how much DID that bad coffee cost? $2.47, a speeding ticket, AND a new pair of sunglasses. For real. Friday, please...

"Please, Please Tell Me Now...Does it Seem We're Getting Old?"

So, I was willing to let it go when, last week on Wizards of Waverly Place, one of Gwynn's favorite Disney Channel shows, Alex cast a spell that went like this..."Please, please tell me now, is there something I should know, Duranium Duranium." It caused me to dust off the old Duran CD's so I could play the song for her, and when it was all said and done, I was like, "Hey, that was a fun little trip down memory lane!" Then, we were watching Dancing With the Stars last night, and one of the dances was to their Muzaked up version of "Hungry Like the Wolf!" I am feeling like my musical past is coming back to haunt me, or perhaps taunt me, all of a sudden. I know I am IN my 40th year and all, but you don't have to rub it in! So help me, someone sings a Duran tune on American Idol and I am throwing a brick at my TV!

You see, Duran Duran and I go WAY back. I fell in love with them in between 6th and 7th grade. In fact, BY 7th I was fully a Durannie, with tee shirts, and posters and pins. I remember screaming like the gymnasium groupie I was when their songs were played at jr. high dances, and then there was watching hours of MTV to see their videos, back when MTV showed videos of course, and only on the free cable weekends as my parents were too cheap to subscribe. I remember hating Def Leppard, because the teen magazines would pit them against DD as the UK's other Fab 5, eventhough, secretly, I liked their music too, and thought their lead singer was pretty hot. I knew all of the words to all of the songs, and as a young girl, dreaming in her bedroom, those songs and lyrics provided FINE backdrop for fantasy, let me tell you!

I had all the albums, books, pics and posters, but alas, never made it to a Duran concert as a young fan. They broke up, reformed, went through different incarnations as Arcadia, and the Power Station. I followed it all, and if ever they hit the radar, I, somehow, heard. It is like a sixth sense, once a Duranie, always a Duranie, I guess. Their reappearance in my early college years, with The Wedding Album, brought two songs that are very near and dear to me, songs that hold places on the soundtrack of my life, Ordinary World, and even more so, Come Undone. Then they drifted away again, and I went back to my Duran free existance.

Well, in 2004 they came back again, all 5 original members, with Astronaut. It was a really good album, I think, and their tour in 2005 FINALLY, at the age of 35, got me to a Duran Duran concert. Here we are about 5 years later, and I am hearing "the buzz!" could something new be on the horizon? Come on John (because he was MINE, and he was the BEST ONE), Simon, Nick, Roger and Andy...how about a new album for my 40th birthday? You've got JUST about a year!

BWE

So, today's entry I will entitle Blogging While Exhausted. Take that as an excuse, or as a warning. You know, I mentioned the restorative and energy inducing qualities of the sun? Well, perhaps today we should do a shout out to the rain. I am not really opposed to rain, as I am a pretty "indoorsey" person, but it is not something that revs up the engines, ya know? I mean, there's the Beatles' "Here Comes the Sun" which would surely get you out of bed in the morning. But the Eurythmic's "Here Comes the Rain Again" certainly encourages pulling the blankets up and over and never coming out.

Of course I could've entitled this TWE (Teaching While Exhausted), PWE (Parenting While Exhausted), or HWE (Homemaking While Exhausted). Maybe I should have slapped one of those Euro Stickers on my butt, just to warn the world of my state. Perhaps LWE (Living While Exhausted) would have been more appropriate, though. Making our way each day through our routines and responsibilities is kind of what life is, when you reduce it down to it's most basic elements. Each day, ya gotta make the doughnuts and that's just the way it is. Some days are a little tougher than others, as I would say today was, but each day, we get to start fresh. How fortunate that we get to choose how we want to face the world.

With that said, I am pulling another Oprah. She doesn't do a new show each and every day, you know. Some times there is an Encore Presentation, as there was today, in fact, and I was just as happy to see that as anything else. SO, you may stop reading here for today's ramblings, or continue on to read a blog I wrote a while back about how much clothing can change your mood. I am thinking I will wear a dress to school tomorrow, and test my theory. Please enjoy this encore presentation from "Cheryl and Sue's Mental Outlet" circa 2007.

Kind of funny how a change of dress can change your day.

I got up today wanting to wear a dress to work, but it is that inbetween time of year, and just to look in my closet is overwhelming. I have summer and winter combined and it is just plain hard to figure out what to wear, or what is where. My eyes scanned the mess and I cued in on my familar grey ensemble...long skirt, striped long sleeve tee, and coordinated zip up vest. Sounds fetching, eh? Colorless and shapeless, I was setting myself up for a great day. Then I stopped. I thought to myself that on a grey day, I deserved a bit of color. Out shopping with my mom a couple of weeks ago I had purchased this great, polka dot print, green wrap dress...slinky and clingy in all the good ways, without being sleezy at all. I cut the tags, threw it on, and instantly felt a spring in my step. I thought of my black, tall, high heeled boots, and put one on, but then had a feeling I was teetering on the edge of "inappropriate for an elementary school." I resolved the problem with some simple black heels and headed out to face the day.

It is funny, but I clearly recall the last TWO times I had a green dress. One was a wonderful turtleneck dress with a long swing skirt and a VERY FAUX reptile WIDE belt circa 1987-89. Actually, I had the dress in brown, but my mom had it in green and it is documented as such in my Senior portrait. I wore her dress, instead, to picture day, in order to compliment my greenish eyes. Too bad it couldn't do anything to compliment my bad perm, but such is the passage of time on film, where hideous choices are preserved for posterity. The second green dress came in the early 90's, with student teaching, aka virtual adulthood, just around the corner. I was doing some shopping, at the mall in Plattsburgh as we were at a cousin's graduation or something. Tim and his brother Terry endured me trying on dresses at Lerner NY, back when it didn't look like a bargain basement. I picked up this tunic and pencil skirt ensemble in green. Wore it to death, and always thought of it as the "cruel dress." Barenaked Ladies had their first album out and Terry was into them. They had this quirky song, that of course would one day be part of our cultural lottery obsession "If I Had a Million Dollars." It emplored us not to buy a real fur coat, and certainly, "not a real green dress, that's cruel." Well, I had committed the sin, I had bought the green dress, and damn it, as a poor college student, most certainly without a million dollars, let alone $10, I was wearing it.

Whew, I guess it has been a while. I've run the gamut now of several wine colored dresses, and the bevy of black, but it seems I have come back to green again. The highschool and college green dresses are long gone, and I haven't had one since, until now. I walked into school today and every person I saw had something to say about that dress. I looked DAMN good, and I felt good too. Like I said, it was a grey day, but that dress did put a smile on my face. I was walking tall, I had energy, I had wit. I got a ton accomplished and did some good teaching. Most of all, though, I laughed with the kids, and at the kids, at least enough to retain my own sanity. I kept my cool, and let the day's crap roll off my back. I wasn't under a black cloud. As posted, yesterday kinda bit, but today...well, change your dress/change your life? A bit much to believe, but a real green dress, at least today, was not at all cruel.
-Cheryl

Sunday/Sundae

So, we have finally wrapped up "birthday month" as it is known in our house. Devin was very elusive about what he wanted to DO for his birthday, being twelve and all, and I have been picking his brain, ever so subtly for about a month. I mean, I understood that he didn't want a "party party" and all, but it still seemed we needed to do something special, something that signified his entering into his 13th year on Earth! (Yep, on top of me turning 40 next March, Devin will become a teenager, and Gwynn, my baby, will go double digits...SEE why I am losing it?) Well, "Diary of A Wimpy Kid" saved the day! The movie opened this weekend, and I mentioned to Devin that it could be fun to go see it, and perhaps he'd like to bring a friend? Bait taken, hook, line and sinker! His friend Wyatt came along, we ate popcorn and candy and LAUGHED OUR BUTTS OFF! (had to use the term butt as it is SO Jr. High and SO fit the tone of the movie!) It was great! We came home, had some spaghetti and meatballs, ate some homemade chocolate chips, did not sing the God awful "Happy Birthday," and I can now rest easy that I did something for my son to commemorate his birth. Such is the life of an "on the brink of the teen years" mom.

And the Sunday Grumpies you may ask? They are far, far from me this weekend! I could list about a million ways I evaded them but will condense to a top 5...had to do more than my usual 3 it was such a great day...

1. My post grocery DD coffee, this weekend, ICED BLUEBERRY with cream and sugar! It just seemed springy so I went with it!
2. Kelly Corrigan's book Lift...read it last night, in bed, from 11-midnight, and it is so wonderful! READ IT!
3. My new LLBean fleece...which went so nicely with this necklace I haven't worn in AGES!
4. "Diary of A Wimpy Kid" - Greg was great, but Rowley rules! (And Rodrick was hot...ahhh...guyliner!)
3. A new radio station 95.1 "The Fox." Now, realistically , it is just a new classic rock station out of Rochester, but they were playing great stuff! I replaced 93Q with it on my presets since, really, do I fit 93Q's demographic at ALL? Do I even WANT to? 95.1 played some obscure Tom Petty and Police too, intermixed with what you'd expect to hear on a classic rock station, not to mention I love that it is called "The Fox!" Makes me feel like a hottie mom while I am cruisin' in my mini van! HA!

3rd Sunday of my 40th year - BIG VICTORY CHERYL

Saturday's Soup

Just idea listing today...Saturdays just tend to do this to me...

First of all, why do kids run all the time? Gwynn came in for a drink from playing outside today, and ran back out the door. I NEVER EVER EVER run. Maybe I should start to do so more often...just when I am really excited about something, not like a marathon or anything so don't get any ideas! Like, when I am going into Dunkin tomorrow for my post grocery coffee? Or perhaps when I see a really good sale? Monday, when it is time to leave work, I am running!

Also, it is SO much nicer to go out to dinner and PIG OUT on a burger and fries when you have lost 10 lbs! We went to the Press Box, a favorite of all. Even had a booth with OUR OWN TV, which of course tickled the kids to no end. But, the best part for me was ordering the second beer, AND asking for mayo for my burger with no guilt what so ever! Back to being good tomorrow...and I know I can do it!

Finally, there is the idea of our "Someday Life." Tim and I talk about this all the time...or rather I talk and Tim, obligingly, and ever patiently, listens, to my rambling on and on and on. The movie we watched tonight, "The Princess and the Frog," brought up this theme a lot. Then again, it also had a character who hung bottles in trees and yet was portrayed as endearing...much like the character in "Because of Winn Dixie." If we don't watch it, we'll have a whole generation of kids that grow up to think that is good landscaping!

So, here I am on a Friday again, actually wanting, and having enough energy to write! Who knew? Could be that, in part, this blog is becoming more of a habit. I mean, don't they say it takes about 20 days to establish a habit? We're closing in on that. Could also be the cup of coffee that I made for myself after school. But, I have a sneaking suspicion it is something else, entirely, the SUN!

We've had a little string of great weather here, temps in the 50's and 60's and bright sunny skies, for about three or four days now. Both Wednesday, and today, when I came home from work, I grabbed the mail, and went outside to read it in the sun. Just that half hour or so of feeling the warmth on my skin made all the difference. I got through the rest of my evening not feeling like I was going to drop. That says something, for sure. But what's a northen girl to do?

Now, I know there is the option of tanning, but then I read the myriad of articles of how horribly dangerous that is, and I just can't do it. I am way too much of a worrier. Natural sun, on the other hand, in short doses, I can do...ie. baking myself at the beach once each year. I know that is just as bad for me as a tanning bed, but for whatever reason, I can justify it. Still, how to get that in the winter is the question! Tim and I took a trip to Puerto Rico last April, and I'd do that every year, if I could afford to. We came back different people, and the "buzz" of the trip, and I think the sun, did last for a month or more, at least. A good friend just returned from a cruise and her pictures show the same thing. SUN is TRANSFORMATIVE! No solution seems to jump out at me, other than finding a sugar daddy to fund my travel habits, but I guess I should just go with the fact that I am really glad I got some today. Tomorrow is supposed to be equally as gorgeous, and then snow is forecasted for Monday! What else would I expect from my life in a northern town?

Ah hey, ma ma ma ma...

(Note to self...perhaps try running my travel needs through my medical insurance, yeah!)

So, I am thinking that, somedays on this blog, I am going to have to pull an Oprah. You know, in her magazine, how she has those beautiful pages of photos and inspiring quotes, and calls them "Breathing Space?" Well, let me tell you, after working all day, then going to help out at the Inventive Minds Bi-School competition, where Gwynn took 7th place overall, then having to run Gwynn back and forth for dance, I am just done. DONE! I can't always be expressing "What I Know for Sure," So, "Breathing Space" it is. Thank you Oprah.

"An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea" - Buddha

Speaks nicely to life right now, to me keeping up with this blog, this idea put into action. Also speaks nicely to Gwynn's successful Invention fair. Thursday's, done, Friday's to come!

Today's Life Lesson...it is all in how you look at it.

You know those life lessons you seem to get again and again? Got one today, loud and clear. We had a bowling field trip, one that normally the teachers don't accompany the kids on, but which, but due to the makeup and size of our classes this year, we had to attend, grudgingly at first. I'll fully admit to being one of the grumpers, and really could have used time to work in the quiet of my classroom as opposed to enduring the loud bowling ally for 2 hours. Still, I went along with things...I mean, what else was there to do...and also decided to make the most of it. I bowled a game with the kids, and also took the time to observe the kids, out of school, in a different setting and with a different set of expectations. Tell ya the truth, I enjoyed them a lot more. This crew, this year, has been challenging, but bowling, something structured, yet active, seemed to suit them just fine. They were busy, engaged, excited...HAPPY. It was good to see.

I was in the first lane, and thankful for that, as some of the kids balls just did not make it all the way down the lane. Fortunately, I was able to scoot right down the walkway along the side of the bowling alley, and push the balls to the end if need be. One of the times that I was doing this, the ball was almost to the pins. I walked all the way down the lane, and pushed it in, and then turned around, to observe the kids...all twenty lanes of third graders...balls rolling, disco ball turning, and thought, you know bowling could be seen as a metaphor for life, right? I mean, there's the "sometimes you're the bowling ball, sometimes you're the pins" deal. Then there's the fact that life is constantly rolling at you. At times your ball rolls a strike, sometimes a spare, and sometimes, let's face it, life is just one great big gutter ball after another. Still, those are probably the times we need to remember the most, that it is all how you look at it.

Today was a proud mom day. We have an invention fair every year at our school. Devin participated in it, placing every year, for the last 3 years. This was Gwynn's first year. Her invention was a hoot...insulated ear covers to keep your ears cool when you dry your hair. She named them "Cool Earz," created a killer display board, whipped up her salesperson magic, and went and won FIRST PRIZE today! She goes on, now, to a bi-school competition, and I couldn't be more proud of her. It is funny, working in the same school with your own children, and stressful at times. You have to be careful to be a mom, but to also stay out of their business and let them have their own school experience. But today, when her name was announced, I snuck across the hall to poke my head in her room to say "HOLY WOW!" She saw me, and came running full tilt. She just about crushed me! I gave her a hug and a kiss, told her I was proud, and then we each went back to our days.

After school, because you know, life never stops for minute, we zipped home, grabbed her piano books and headed off to lessons. I knew she hadn't practiced too much as we had the busiest of weekends, but she had done enough to hold her own. When she came out of lessons and hopped in the van, immediately she said, "Mom, I have SO MUCH CONFIDENCE from winning today!" It was all I could do to not pull the van over and jump back there and hug her again. We don't win all the time, and that is certainly an important lesson to learn in life too, but today, she did, we did, and it was truly a great day.

Addictions, yes, I have them, plenty of them, and I am going to admit to one now. I do believe I am becoming addicted to Lawry's Seasoned Salt, which in turn aggravates my cooking problem, and we all know good cooking leads to wine consumption. It is a gateway drug, the Lawry's, I warn you, stay away from it!

It all started with the book that I bought for myself for my birthday...The Pioneer Woman Cooks. The book is a cookbook that grew from a blog, and it chronicles the life of a woman who became an accidental cowboy's wife. GREAT book, funny, engaging, photos shot with a Nikon camera (not a camera phone!) and the recipes, too, are wonderful. I've already cooked two, and am planning on cooking The Pioneer Woman's meatloaf this week...wrapped in bacon, how can that be wrong?

Well, she also uses this Lawry's Seasoned Salt, and I whipped it in the cart on my trip to the good 'ol Price Chopper last week and have been trying it in and on all kinds of things since.

I came home tonight, exhausted from my class, and the damn time change, but at least knowing the menu was going to be simple baked cod, brown rice, and some steamed yellow squash. HERE is where it went instead.

I prepped the cod, and dressed it with olive oil, oregano, Lawry's Seasoned Salt, and some fresh ground pepper, and threw it in the oven. Then, when I went to get the rice, I came across two packages of Saffron rice. Brown rice is good and all, but this was a way better option , and sent me towards my next concoction. I grabbed some diced tomatoes, artichoke hearts, and black olives from my pantry cupboard, sauteed them up with some garlic and olive oil, and cooked the diced up yellow squash in that instead...also with some oregano, and, again, with the Lawry's. IT was FREAKING AMAZING and SO called out for a bottle of wine. Tim was calling out for the wine too, but see, here's where the addictions begin to circle their wagons. Did I say glass? No, I said BOTTLE. In February when I felt my weight needing to be "reigned in" from the winter coat I had put on, I made a pact with myself not to drink during the week, for that very reason. One glass of wine just does not resonate with living a life, to me, and therefore I'd rather live without. Well, it looks like, in order to maintain my non drinking promise, I am also going to have to hold back on my cooking and throw out the Lawry's. That's it, Pioneer Woman, I am through with you, and your Lawry's Seasoned Salt too...oh wait...well, after I make your damn meatloaf.

Sunday/Sundae

Today I came across a new music artist, country, but with a penchant for Fleetwood Mac, Stevie Nicks, and I would say, Sheryl Crow. Her name is Sarah Buxton. Really enjoying her, but I think the thing that really drew me in was the name of the mini-album I downloaded..."Almost My Album." Now I don't know her backstory enough to know how or why the "albumette" got said name, but it really caused me to chuckle. I am always talking about the book I want to write, and am constantly saying to Tim, "Hey there's my book!" so I read the album title in that way. Like perhaps these are songs she released herself, so they were almost her album. It is in part why I am writing this blog, to get myself in some type of writing habit, to practice my craft, and who knows, maybe it will become "Almost My Book."

That's about all I've got for today...those third grade girls did me in last night, and I have a whole roomful of third graders to face tomorrow morning. Still, to keep with at least one pattern from last weekend, which I think would be a good one to track through the year, here is how I evaded the Sunday Grumpies this week.

1. FINISHING! Gwynn's birthday party, AND Inventive Minds project/display board. Two things OFF the list.
2. Coconut Coffee with Cream and Sugar from Dunkin on my way home from groceries
3. Corned Beef, Cabbage, Potatoes, Carrots and good Irish Beer

2nd Sunday of my 40th year - VICTORY CHERYL

Girls are girls from the start, all new and pink. I remember when Gwynn was a baby, how much she loved her bath, and having her hair washed with frou frou Paul Mitchell baby shampoo. Devin enjoyed his bath too, but less for the primping and more for the playing. Just one of those ever present boy/girl things that, no matter how much you try to ignore or see differently, just are what they are. It comes through in certain times and in certain situations, like when it comes to gift giving. Tonight I have mere moments to blog, as we have a gaggle of giggly third grade girls here for a birthday party sleep-over. We've had a couple of bratty/nasty episodes, and one "I'm bored." Still, as they exchanged gifts, there was such caring. One girl brought a messenger bag iron on set because she "knew Gwynn liked crafts." Then there were the cute puppies in carrying cases, given because "I don't really like them but I KNEW you would!" Finally, a DOLL SCHOOL KIT, from a bestest friend. What an "in tune with Gwynn and her likes" gift! It is just one of those girl things. Girls just know.

...and we come to the date where 12 years ago, I gave birth to my son. Now, as much as I might want to relive the birth of my daughter, I'd possibly like to forget the birth of my son. I was in labor, in one way or another, for about two days, and then he graced me with a posterior delivery. We have come to call it a "sunny side up" delivery, because, as much as his delivery was difficult beyond belief, his presence in our lives has been every bit a blessing. He made me a mom. He made Tim and myself parents. He paved the way for Gwynn to be born, and for her to be the final piece in what would make us the family that we are. He started it all...and for that, to Devin, I am eternally grateful, and eternally in awe. What amazing things you have taught us my son, far more than I will ever teach you. I love you from the deepest depths of my heart.

Today's Topic - Food (Namely Cheese Puffs)

So I got the chance to catch Michael Pollan on Oprah today, even if it was a repeat. It came at a good time for me, anyways, as I am also, currently, reading his book. The Omnivore's Dilemma, for those unfamilar, is all about conscious eating. So many kids today have no idea where their food comes from, adults too, I would guess. Our grocery stores are full of processed and convenience foods, to a much higher degree than real true foods. Then there is the issue of hormones in meat supplies that my pediatrician reminds us about regularly. What's a girl to do, that is, what's a girl to do, when she does believe in the premise of sustainable agriculture and whole foods and cooking, but she still has a certain love, aforementioned in this blog even, for cheese puffs?

WELL, Michael Pollan gave the best advice ever today! He said, sure, eat junk food, but only if you make it yourself! He gave the example of french fries, which he admitted to loving, but which are a pain to make. One has to make the conscious choice to really want to go to the trouble to make them. And how often would one want to do that? Perhaps it would be once, maybe twice a month, and, he said, that is about as often as they should be eaten.

Therefore, if I love the cheese puff, I need to go on a quest for great cheese puff recipes. I (think) I could go without the cellophane bag variety forever if I could figure out how to make the ones pictured above. And I KNOW I could choke 'em down with my locally produced, sustainable Finger Lakes Region wine. No guilt there! A quest for the perfect cheese puff, what could be more noble?

How sad that THE DAY AFTER I put a link to this blog up on Facebook, ready to "keep myself honest" in my quest to write every day of my 40th year, I am SO SO SO not in the mood to write. Actually, I am always in the mood to write, but I am just so TIRED. It has been a really long week, one where it is hard to believe it is only Wednesday, and one where there is still a lot ahead. We get into "birthday season" here at our house, and, as much fun as that is, it is a game of preparation and planning as well. Then there is work. Ya gotta love when you are trying to teach a group of squirrelly third graders, but have to have someone cover your room on the fly so you can haul yourself over to the highschool for CSE meetings not once, not twice, not even three times, but four. Sigh. At least that is done.

Maybe I can attribute the fatigue and exhaustion to something else altogether, though. Maybe it is just some bad former boyfriend juju. Today, I unearthed this beautiful sterling silver collar necklace that my high-school boyfriend gave me, years ago. (obviously.) I had (kind of) forgotten I had it, and then, thought of it the other day when my friend had one on with a great slide. I dug it out of the bottom of my jewelry armoire, where it has sat for years, and I wore it today. I got a ton of compliments, but it also just felt a little odd. Not that this former boyfriend is even in my life at all anymore, but, our breakup was not really nice...for him at least...so maybe this jewelry carries that bad juju. I mean, it is certainly water under the over 20 year old bridge, and I DID break up with him to be with the man I eventually married, but still...a perfectly good piece of jewelry, with bad juju. Now THAT makes me sad.

(Hmmm, maybe I wasn't too tired to write after all:)

I am kind of perplexed at the fact that, afforded an hour and a half home, alone, after school today, I chose to cook. Now, granted it is chicken, leek and rice soup, and smells heavenly, but still, why? I mean, I like to cook everyday, but sometimes, it is obsessive. Today, as soon as I realized I would be home alone for a while, I started thinking about cooking this ridiculous soup! Did I think about just relaxing in the quiet, with a book, a show, some music, or, perhaps even a glass of decadent afternoon wine? No. Instead I fantasized about slicing, stirring and sauteeing. Am I losing my mind?

OR am I truly, finally, and completely, becoming my mother? My mother will be thinking about what to have for dinner at breakfast. My mother's advice to me, after the birth of my children, was to start planning out and cooking dinner for my family around 2pm. My mother's cupboards could feed an army at a moment's notice. My mother is shocked that I do not keep dry milk in my pantry at all times. Although I am not exhibiting any of these puzzling traits, I am a bit afraid that it just might be a slippery slope. First you are excited to get home, to an empty house, to make soup. Next you find yourself "putting up" items for the possibility of Armageddon.

As my fortieth year progresses, I will have to monitor my behaviors, closely, and carefully, it seems.

Nine years ago I gave birth to my daughter. If I had a chance to relive one day in my life, that would be the day I would pick. Interesting that today, sun bright, air crisp, and sky deep blue, looked so very much like that day. I WILL be returning to this topic, to reflect on and recount the day Gwynn was born, but not today. Between work, and then birthday festivities, along with working on a school project display board and making lunches etc, I am just plain whipped...still, I am very reflective, and very thankful today, for my little girl.

Sunday/Sundae

...and now Sunday. Should Sunday posts have a theme? Am thinking of something along the lines of "How I am keeping the Sunday Grumpies away THIS week." As much as Friday is my favorite day of the week, Sunday, or more so Sunday night, is my least favorite. It is a lovely day, most Sundays, until about 3 or 4 pm, when Monday looms. I start to think of the week ahead, and all previously achieved zen disappears. Such is life I suppose. It is kind of like a vacation. You stress in anticipation, spend the first day aclimating, enjoy a few days in the middle, and spend the last couple of days realizing it is coming to a close. I mean, that IS what happens to everyone, right? Or is it just me? I am reminded of a quote from Dr. Seuss, who shares my birthday (as does Jon Bon Jovi, but that is another blog, altogether) "Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened." I don't think I am a pessimist, but I have always been one to cry because it is over. There was ANY movie my parents took me to as a small child, where I cried through the credits. There was every single time we were leaving my grandparent's home in Buffalo. There was the end of summer camp, weaping as the counselors sang a final campfire song, "Blind Man." I am just a sap, I suppose, or maybe it is more than that. Maybe it is just that I so wholly and completely love and enjoy moments that I would love for them to go on and on forever. Either way, it makes for a sucky Sunday night.

Today, I am evading the Sunday Grumpies with the following...

1. A Shamrock Shake on the way home from groceries

2. A steak dinner...first time grilling this season...yep, we started, March 7th

3. SUN and a glorious sunny day. It is amazing what sun does for the soul

SO, off to put kids to bed, and Sunday, you didn't get me, at least today.

First Sunday of my 40th year - VICTORY CHERYL

...and if Fridays could be considered "Fridays Dead," Saturdays need some sort of special deliniation too. I almost need them to be days where I just collect ideas and thoughts. For example, today, I had several "That could go on my blog" moments...

-Waking up, at 8:45, realizing how much I NEED SLEEP and how much my daily job gets in the way of my natural body rhythms

-Listening to Devin's All-County Festival today, and remembering how choral music moves me. Then hearing his band conductor and respecting her as a teacher with ONE statement. And, finally, being blown away by his low brass section. It was a fine musical day.

-Feeling sad that people think their CELL PHONES are fine CAMERAS! Aargh!

-Eating dinner at a "we use local ingredients" kind of place, and being reminded of my real, true belief that we all should eat, more so, in that manner. Also, the fact that those types of eateries could be true "industry" here in Upstate NY, where all other industry is dying right and left.

-Thinking of the parallels between MY upbringing and family trips to Historical Sights, and my kids' trips to Historical Sights with wineries and breweries "On the side."

-Finally, how good it is to drive down a major state route and see a sandwich sign advertising "Liquor Store right 100ft." After all, you never know when you might be in DIRE need.

It was a good day, and isn't it always amazing how, pulled away from the daily demands of life, the mind wanders, free, and creates.

You know, Oprah does her "Fridays Live" stint, and I kind of think I should mimic and do "Fridays Dead" here. I have always been such a lover of Fridays, though, and still am, even if my Fridays have become oh so tame, so the vibe of that kind of feels wrong. I guess the more diplomatic thing would be to examine the evolution of Fridays in my life.

As a kid, my family did all kinds of rocking things on Fridays. My best memories involve nights out having pizza at Brothers Two, a great (cheap) pizza joint down in the Triple Cities area of New York, and then, if it was a real crazy night, trips to the library. Now, this may sound tame, but I usually was allowed to bring a friend along, and let me tell you, my friend Kim and I knew our way around the non-fiction if you know what I mean. Paired with Judy Blume that pretty much summed up my sexual education, and trust me, it came my way FAR before "the film strip" in school, and it taught me much more as well.

As middle and high school came and went, so did dances and dates.

Then college brought nights out partying (read as drinking), and if truth be told, those types of Fridays lived on FAR into early marriage as well. What would you expect from people who had disposable income and lived on the same street as their best friends, still IN their college town?

Even when the kids were little, and we were tired beyond belief, I still had this "thing," of liking to go out on Friday night. Just for dinner, granted, but for some reason my weekend didn't feel "right" without a certain type of tip off.

Well, as is evidenced by this blog, and when I am writing, I am F-I-N-E FINE with being IN IN IN on a Friday night, here in my 4th day of my 40th year. Currently, Tim and Devin are competing on the Playstation II, Gwynn is curled up behind me with a book, and I, earbuds in my ears, am blogging away. I've had my couple of glasses of Merlot, and am ready to curl up in what I affectionately call my Cymbalta blanket, (as in who needs Cymbalta if they have this blanket) to watch a movie with my sweetie.

So I suppose the sign off, for now, at this point in my life at least, is this...

Rock on Friday, Rock on...and rock me right off to sweet, sweet sleep.

Today's Topic - BLAZERS

Am wondering, today, if wearing a blazer, even a cute and trendy blazer, will always make me feel like my mom? I guess it points towards those age old mysteries of our mothers and ourselves...where do those lines exist, cross, intersect, parallel, or completely and utterly divide? I mean, my mom is a great dresser, but I just can't dress like her. It isn't just the fact that, in general, although we wear pretty much the same size, things just fit us differently. It is more so the fact that even if it is the cutest outfit on Earth, I will put it on, and I will feel like my mom, and love her as I may, I have to be ME! Blazers, I guess, fall into this catagory...cute, but, to me, they are mom's turf.

Maybe it is more than that, though, with blazers. I'll never forget a day back in Jr. High School. I wore a tan, corduroy blazer to school, complete with a Peter Pan collar shirt that had a grosgrain ribbon bow. It was SO early 80's, and cute, if a little "mature," shall we say? Well, during the course of the day, at one point, a kid came up to me and asked me a question AS IF I WERE A TEACHER! I was mortified...I blamed the blazer and ONLY wore it to church or family get togethers from that point on.

The jury remains out. Today, I got a LOT of compliments on the blazer, but spent the whole day not really feeling like ME. Still, I will not give up. I have Bookgroup tonight, and we're headed out to "The Blue Moon." I think I will keep the blazer on, but switch to jeans and boots. After all, mom would NEVER wear it that way:)

So here I am ALONE at HOME for an hour, and I am loving every moment of it! Even took the time to light my new Pineapple Cilantro candle from Sue...her "Pleasure Island" candle, and took the time to unwrap and display, here on my desk, the beautiful flowers Mom and Dad Howell sent today. My iTunes is cranked up, my Uggs are on, I grabbed myself a bowl full of cheese doodles (total unhealthy guilty pleasure...these ones are great too...Terrell's...never had had them before) and the dog has been put OUT! It is "Me" time!

Being alone right now is making me think of a journal entry I wrote years and years ago, when the kids were really little. I was commenting on how hard it was to take time for ME, and how, whenever the kids were napping, or were in some other way occupied, I was busy, busy, busy doing house things. In the journal, I was obviously encouraging myself to avoid that, and take those moments for myself. I am happy to say that, many years down the road, I have fully embraced taking time for myself. Of course, my house is not as neat and clean as it used to be, and the laundry does pile up a bit at times, but we are surviving JUST FINE and I am a much more relaxed and happy woman than I was back in "little tiny baby days."

So does this have any deep meaning? Who knows. Does this make me more self actualized??? More indulgent??? More selfish??? Who cares. Online shopping anyone?

Even funnier...as I was prepping the flowers, the card giving me instructions said the following...

NOTE: If your bouquet contains TULIPS, please place them in the water with the plastic sleeve for 8-12 hours. This will support your tulips while they drink.

HA! Well, don't we all need a little support when we drink? To hell with these cheese doodles...I guess it is time for some wine!

...and the day has arrived! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! It is a brief moment in our home, mere blip on the birthday radar as Gwynn's birthday is in 6 more days, and Devin's in 9, but still, we take pause, to honor, and love and dote upon ME! And I will LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT!

Funny story, but Tim and I were out over February break, and I had him buy two books for me, telling him, "Here, put these away and give them to me for my birthday!" Like the man he is, he totally forgot, and went and got me the Ugg slippers I REALLY wanted. He also got me a silver charm for my charm bracelet, of Puerto Rico, our "honeymoon, finally" trip from last year. What a great guy! Now, on Saturday, I had also bought some jewelry at a jewelry party claiming it was a "Happy Birthday to ME!" gift. Here's to treating yourself well, I guess!

So, CHEERS, and I am looking forward to seeing what the next 364 days hold...the next 364 days of my 40th year!

Tomorrow is the day...the day I begin my fortieth year on this earth. I'd been thinking of it as my 39th birthday, UNTIL a dear friend pointed out the aforementioned fact. It is kind of giving me tingles to think of it that way, too. I am equally terrified, and excited. I expect tomorrow to pass in the same way as most birthdays, with fun, and gifts, and kind greetings and, of course, cake. But what will it be like AFTER tomorrow. To be IN my fortieth year seems so EPIC, and deserving of a journey, and thus, this blog...