In cleaning out Gwynn's room last weekend, I brought a bunch of photo boxes, that had been in "hiding" behind her bed, downstairs. I figured I would go through a box a night and just thin them out, get rid of bad shots, and doubles and such. Needless to say, the boxes ended up going right back up to our attic dormer storage, unchanged, but boy, did I have a good time looking through them. They are boxes that go from my first instamatic camera as a kid, right up through 04-05 or so, when I was beginning the transition to entirely digital photography. Those years were tough, too, as I had a 7 year old and a 4 year old, and insisted on taking along the digital camera AND the snapshot film Olympus, AND the 35 mm Nikon SLR PRETTY much everywhere. I didn't trust the digital to meet my expectations, so I would shoot with it, then do backup shots with the other cameras. Funny! I think about it now, and it is exhausting, but then it is just what I needed to do, as the mom, as the family photographer, to preserve our moments, to document our children, ourselves, our family, growing. I had to be sure I didn't miss, or in the end, forget, a thing.

While pawing through the boxes, I thanked the storage gods for the transition to digital. Talk about the lessening of clutter! I often joke, though, about the fact that our children will have totally warped views of their growing up years. They look practically perfect in every way. You never take a bad picture anymore, you know? Everyone has the opportunity to check the LCD screen, and if they blinked, or have an odd expression, it is so easy to delete, and re-do. In the end, you have picture perfect memories, of picture perfect moments, of a picture perfect upbringing. Whoo boy, I see years of therapy later.

But, you know, really, as I looked through these old film shots, I saw very few bad ones. Sure there were bad clothes and the house looked a little bit the worse for wear. But, I saw genuine happiness in people's faces, kids beaming, grandparents swelling with joy. I saw happily tired faces on myself and Tim, not so different from now. I saw the funniest moments with our oldest and dearest friends, and their children, all of whom I miss everyday, and don't get to see nearly as much as I would like to. No, we couldn't delete and re-shoot back then, but maybe we never really needed to. Maybe it has been perfect, all along.