It is the auspicious last "Coconut Friday" of 2010...but this blog is going to sound more like a "Saturday's Randomness," after having been on an extended blogging vacation. I fell off the connectedness map, to tell the truth, and it was much, much, much needed. In 7 days virtually computer free, by choice, my mind quieted, I enjoyed my family, I slept, I talked, I read, I celebrated, I did whatever it was I wanted, no restraints, no alarms, no obligations, no lists...pure BLISS.

December 23rd brought a full day of 4th graders and pre Christmas excitement.
The 24th was a busy day, preparing as a family, and even making Shepard's Pie for dinner...for the shepards, ya know...might become a new Howell family tradition, time will tell.
Then the 25th and 26th were wonderful Christmas Days, with my family, and then Tim's.
The 27th and 28th brought the inevitable crash of jammie days.
Still, the 29th and 30th ushered in the reconnection with Tim's and my "fabulous date night," Mom's and my "great shopping day," and lunch date, and also, of course, Katie's birthday, repleat with Indian food galore, which I discovered that I LOVE! (learned that I like good scotch over break too, but that story may be for another day:)

Phew! Makes me tired just looking at it! And life is constantly like that around here...there are few days these days that aren't chock full of something, but, once December 25th was over, I felt free of any and all obligation for a little while, blog included. This blog is a committment to ME to write everyday, and has been in the back of my mind each and every day since March 2nd, but as the project comes to a close, I can see it winding down. I enjoy, even crave, some time away from it, but know I will come back. It has become a good habit. I have learned that I can committ to something, and keep at it, with self discipline and self discipline alone. I have learned that sometimes I have a lot to say, sometimes a little. I have created a snapshot of my 40th year, for myself, and for my kids, someday, to know who their crazy mother was at this time in her life.

Most of all, I have done for myself, perhaps, what I most wanted to do in the first place. I have proven to myself, that I truly am a writer.

With that said, welcome 2011. My 40th birthday is on the horizon, and I am looking forward to its promise of a new phase in my life. I am anxious, and excited, to start anew.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Too much to do, too little time! No matter how I schedule/manage/try to outsmart Christmas it always gets me! I don't know what I am doing wrong. Still have a full day of teaching ahead of me tomorrow, though, so I guess the wise strategy would be to take one hurdle at a time. Also, the surrender is necessary. Christmas is gonna be here on the 25th no matter what, so I guess I'd best 1. Get off my blog and FB 2. Get on with what I need to do 3. ENJOY the ride!

Dear Santa,
I know it is a little late in the game, but if I could put in a last minute Christmas request that would just be great. I thought I wanted the Barbie doll with a video camera in her neck, and an LCD screen on her back, but I was mistaken. I now know that I desperately want "Sweet Talking Ken." He is amazing! I can talk into him, and he will say back, in his own non threatening semi masculine voice, exactly what I want him to say! What more could I ask for in a toy? Just so you know my intentions are pure, I will explain to you the top 5 things I plan to record into my Ken doll on Christmas morning...

"I think you look exactly like Elle MacPhereson, in particular back in her Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition hayday."
"Let's go to Paris, tonight."
"Dinner? Why I already planned, shopped for, made it, and will be serving it to you, tonight."
"I cleaned the whole house and did all the laundry. I even sorted the delicates"
"I love a good chick flick."

I do worry a bit about the young girls that will receive this as a gift this Christmas. It certainly could set up some high expectations. Then again, maybe I should worry about all the young boys that will never be able to meet said expectations. But for a girl about to turn 40, it's a hell of a laugh!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Santa,
Cheryl

It was so nice to have a husband with a birthday tonight. Tim voted on dinner out at Red Sun in Oswego for his 41st, so we drove in, with Gwynn in the back seat singing, "I'm in the mood for wood grilled food!" Too funny! Delicious wood grilled pizza was had by all, and brownies at home for dessert. Happy Birthday Tim, and thank you for traversing 40 before me...clearing the path so to speak...being my guide. Just as a side note, though, do remember, I am still in my 30's, at least for another couple of months! HA!

Phew! Another whirlwind of a weekend blows by us! Had a great one, though. Friday night we went out to dinner with Devin and relaxed at home, but Gwynn was at Emma's 10th birthday sleepover...the first of the girls to turn ten. Wow! As my strangely perceptive daughter has shared with me though, "Once you HIT double digits, you generally DIE when you are a double digit, so maybe this is not good." The girl has a point.
Then Saturday morning got us down to Lansing, and we tooled around and did some last minute shopping, then got all gussied up to go to the 60th Annual Howell Family Christmas party. Wonderful company, food, and champagne a plenty. A good time was had by all.
Finally, today, we did some celebrating for Tim's 41st birthday tomorrow.
It was a busy one, but the blessings that abound in our lives were very apparent as well. I am so fortunate, and thankful.
May the busy week before Christmas begin.

"Coconut Friday"
Mostly a good day, and it is a full week over, leading into a "just have to get through it" kind of 4 day week, and then the HOLIDAYS! I can't wait! I suppose the irony of this particular coconut Friday, is that I spent a part of it assembling my sister in law's Christmas gift, hoping it will bring her coconut Fridays of her own. May the coconut be with you...kick back, relax, and have a wonderful Friday, and weekend.

The hamster wheel is spinning again. Not only was it my first day back to work post vein surgery, but it was also my student teacher's last day. Then it was home, only to run out again and go to Devin's Concert Band and Jazz Band performances. Mom and Dad came up for the concert, so afterwards it was back to the house for Geena's gingerbread, ice cream, and accolades. Then, after tucking kids in bed, I still had to complete Shutterfly calendars to get the free shipping that ends today. Phew! Good thing Tim had uploaded pictures a while ago, and Gwynn helped out in the making of the calendars today after school. Teamwork. That's what makes our crazy, busy life possible I guess. I do have to say, that I chose the particular hamster image you see tonight because it looked like my Russian Dwarf hamster, Ursula, may she rest in peace. She was Tim's and my first pet, procured because we couldn't have dogs or cats in our apartment and I wanted "Something to take care of besides me." Well, I sure do have it now, eh? Be careful what you wish for! HA!

Falling asleep on the couch at 8:30 pm is not conducive to blogging. Good night.

Sitting around really makes you tired.

Had my leg surgery yesterday, and today was sit around, eleveate, ice and rest day. Just that and I am whipped! I guess it shows that, perhaps as we age a bit, even a simple procedure can take a lot out of you. Of course the stress and organization that leads up to a simple procedure, when you have responsibilities like full time jobs, and kids, and a dog, come into play as well. Life is never easy...there is always something to be coordinated, and Monday, that was just amplified.

Today, the kids had a snowday, which was great as I had some people around to keep me company and to help out. We did NOTHING today, all day, seriously nothing, and still, I am TOTALLY ready for bed! I am taking tomorrow off as well, to rebuild energy, and to clean myself! I can take my bandages off at noon, and can't wait to climb in the shower after that! I feel like ick...but ick on the mend...so goodnight, and hope to be back to my full self by tomorrow night. Maybe I'll write something real and not just the geriatric report.

So, we've reached the time in our lives where, to get a date day with eachother, one of us needs to be having surgery, apparently. Just kidding, but it was funny today, shipping the kids off to school, only to head down to Syracuse so I could have my varicose veins taken care of. All went well. In fact, the procedure was so painless that if it had taken any longer I probably would've fallen asleep. Am sore now, and annoyed by my mammoth girth of dressings and ace bandages, but the day was a good one. I had a date, an almost nap, and took care of a medical need to boot...it doesn't get much better than that...well, when you're almost 40 that is;)

Sunday Grumpies are here in full force, and I don't even have to go to work tomorrow. I do have to get upstairs, though, and wash myself down with antibacterial surgical scrub, go to bed, do the same tomorrow, and then go have my varicose veins taken care of. I should be happy. I do feel thankful that I can get this done, and that it will be covered by my insurance. But I am grumpy nonetheless. Not even tree decorating, "The Nutcracker" on DVD, yummy dinner, and eggnog for dessert helped. Sometimes you can have a plan for those Sunday Grumpies, and they beat you down just the same. Oh well. Off to scrub.

"Saturday's Randomness"
Just a note today. A piece of advice, actually. One should not get a tree, Christmas shop, and grocery shop all in one day. I am EXHAUSTED! Oh well, it is all part of the season, isn't it? Curling up on the couch in a minute, for a movie with my hubby and a glass of wine. I deserve it today!

Best Coconut Friday EVER! Started with pizza and beer, then watched "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation," for the bazillionth time ourselves, but for the first time with the kids.

As a mom moment here, I will warn that the movie has a few language moments for sure, but nothing worse than they hear on the bus, or than I head from Great Uncle George when I was a kid. What was the line? Oh yeah, "DO NOT repeat anything your Uncle George says!" Family...ahhh...family.

Never really realized, too, that "Christmas Vacation" is a John Hughes film.

Had a funny moment of connection with Clark, as he was going off on his boss about the Jelly of the Month Club, given as the bonus of his 17th year with his company. I am in my 17th working year as well. Sigh. Just me and Clark. Traversing those mid-life blues. Maybe I'll put in a pool this summer...the Clark W. Griswold Family pool.
Sigh.
Oh to dream!
Happy Friday to all and to all a Good Night!

Had Gwynn's Holiday concert tonight...her first in Band with her saxophone, and Chorus...and Chamber Ensemble...and Select Chorus...and...and...and...Let's just say she was a busy girl, and we were proud parents.

My heart always swells when we get to go to the kids' musical performances. Each and every time I am taken back to my own days performing. I loved it so much. Band was my "big thing," as you couldn't really be in both band AND chorus at our school, until they finally rearranged the schedules my senior year. That was the first time I got to sing in a group, and I got to go on to All County and Area All State that year as well. I will never forget that experience, and what it felt like to be surrounded by all of those human voices. To this day, it's the choral singing that really gets me. Someday, I want to find a way, and the right place and group, to sing again.

Music truly does touch a different part of me, deep in my soul. I am thankful tonight for that.

"All Shopped Out"
I am a little "off" on my blogging, I must say. I just am running low on deep insight and ponderings. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and blame the holidays. I have just been so busy, and each night there is something, little or big, that MUST be done to prepare. Tonight, it is making final decisions on the last of the online shopping I have to do. I mean, I love to shop, but even I am getting a little burned out on it. Go figure, my school orders are due this month too. As if I want to do a little more shopping, not to mention for a school year that is 9+ months away. Sigh. I do promise to mellow out and get interesting again soon, but for now, sorry, this is it.

A very musical day indeed. Started out with a two hour delay, where I languished with my second cup of coffee, Sting on GMA, and Sheryl Crow on Racheal Ray. Then, after driving back and forth to Red Creek ramming kids here and there, I got to curl up and watch the Glee Christmas episode. We actually bought the CD after Thanksgiving, so it was such fun to see the songs come to life. And the Grinch thread of the storyline...brilliant! I am sure I will be singing in my dreams.

I have been SO COLD all day long! I should have been ready for winter. Usually in Upstate NY it starts to snow around Halloween. Here we are with our most marked snowfall to date, and it is December 6th, and seriously, I can't take it! Maybe it is the fact that at the same time the temps have plunged to the 20's. Whatever it is...I am too FREAKING COLD to type tonight! I made a nice warm dinner...beef in wine sauce over rice, which helped, but I am beginning the evening shut down. It is time for the Cymbalta blanket and some TV then BED! Sorry. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Spent the day today decorating for Christmas. The kids helped a lot, in particular with the Santa Village. All is up except the tree, which we will get next week. Naturally, holiday music was playing all day, and I kept mentioning which songs were my favorites...so here they are...top 5...in no particular order...with annotation, naturally.

1. "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" (Pretenders' version from A Very Special Christmas Volume 1...through the years we all will be together, if the fates allow...love that line...)

2. "My Favorite Things" (Sound of Music version if I am feeling traditional, Diana Ross version if I am feeling glamorous)

3. "What Are You Doing New Years Eve?" (...as New Year, really, is my favorite holiday)

4. "Chesnuts..." (Ok, so I know it is called "The Christmas Song" and all, but everyone calls it "Chesnuts..." and you know you laugh the minute you hear anyone over-singing that first word)

5. The WHOLE Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack (because it just wouldn't be Christmas without it, would it?)

Runners up may need to make an appearance later in the advent season, but for now, off to iTunes you go:) Enjoy!

"Saturday Randomness"
No blog last night as we had a WONDERFUL Christmas Party with our friends at Jeanne's new house in Syracuse. It is always such a blessing to have time with friends who are like family. It was a "big night" for Barry, I learned that you shouldn't put balsamic vinegar in cole slaw, and Nancy lost Sammy at one point, but all in all, it was a great night.
Today brought festive holiday preparations and some shopping. I hit all the local stores, and it was such fun. Then they all did beautiful gift wrapping, free, to boot. You really should shop local...downtown Oswego...who knew.
Finally, noodle bowls for dinner...in my new pottery made by Jeanne...and "Elf" with the family.
It was a great day. HoHoHo!

Memories blur, blend and fade.
Tonight I got out my Shawn Colvin "Holiday Songs and Lullibies" CD that I pack away with my Christmas music each year, but really, it takes me back to the baby years. I recall very clearly the moment when I had to buy the CD. I saw a Johnson and Johnson ad with Shawn singing a snippet of "All the Pretty Little Horses." It was filmed with her on a stool, with a guitar, very stark, in black and white. It literally brought me to tears, on the couch, amidst laundry chaos.

Chronologically, I know this was pre iTunes days, and really, pre high speed internet as well...back when the internet was more a pain than anything else. Still, I searched until I found the song, then the CD, and ordered up a bunch of them on amazon. I know I gave them to Sue, and to Katie, but am not sure who else. Here's the memory kicker though. The thing that is bugging me. I can recall the moment clearly, having to buy the CD, feeling the music deeply, but can't remember if I bought the CD while just a mom to Devin, pregnant with Gwynn, or mother of two! I know it was sometime from 1999-2001, but that's it.

The songs take me right back to feelings and moments, but back to the blended days of baby raising. "Now the Day is Over" and "Rocking" remind me of Devin, as does "Evening is a Little Boy." "The Night Will Never Stay," mocked me at the time when I was sleep deprived, but makes total sense now. Yet, the CD was purchased specifically because of "All The Pretty Little Horses," and that was the song I sang to Gwynn, each and every night, when we read and rocked in her room, just before she peacefully, and so independently, laid down on her own, in her perfect white crib with angel bedding and fell asleep.

All is not lost. There is always a solution. I know I will be able to go to Katie, or to Sue, or to other people with more precise memories than me, to figure out the days and dates of my memories. I will be able to pinpoint when I bought this CD and the world will go on. But I am also reminded, suddenly, of why I keep this blog. Memories blur, blend, fade, and I write to preserve the memories of the everyday...the memories of the moments...the memories that are my life.

I am reminiscing about Happy December Day today. A made up holiday, yes, by Nancy and myself, back in our Oswego State days, but a worthy, and perhaps necessary one if I do say so myself. Deeply embroiled in end of the semester bedlam, we refused to ignore the upcoming joyous holiday. We declared Happy December Day on December 1st freshman year, and spent the day listening to Christmas music, writing out Christmas cards, decorating our meager little rooms, and drinking Suisse Mocha, aka Starter Coffee. We got started on our decorating here tonight, and began to celebrate the moments of our life. Happy December Day to all and to all a good night.

Had such a good time tonight watching the Rockefeller Center Tree lighting on TV with Gwynn. I mean, even if it was highly commercialized, with all the people singing (or not so much singing but lip synching) that have current holiday CD's out, it still was fun. She is SO me sometimes, professing "I just love Christmas music...and that one song..."It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year?" well, HELLO, it IS!" Love that little girl! Devin even came over and joined us towards the end, when they started to hype the 36,000 lights. I mean, that has always been his thing..."Light On, Light Off..." Tim was out having his Ducks Unlimited Wrap Up dinner at Red Sun in Oswego. He may have missed the holiday music fest, but I am afraid to inform him that the rest of his crew is ready to haul out the holly! Decorations go up tomorrow...we NEED a little CHRISTMAS!

Yep, sick hubby last night, so still didn't get too much sleep. But, fortunately, my student teacher started with "the whole show" today, so it was a pretty easy day to get through for me. She did a nice job, too. It is always so hard, when you are first starting out teaching, to stay on a schedule, and she did very well. I on the other hand, emailed with mom about Christmas stuff, cyber shopped a little, organized my files, returned and checked out more books at the library, went through boxes, etc. It was really nice to be able to do the stuff I keep putting off. So, to my ST, for accepting the irony that is paying the college to come and do MY job, thanks! I gift you my classroom, and in turn accept the gift you give me...TIME.

And we ease into Sunday night pretty sure we have a sick husband on our hands. Aargh! I guess I should resolve myself to being next. I hate that "waiting for the other shoe to drop" feeling.

Did have a nice night, though, driving home from Lansing, in the dark, singing along to our new Glee Christmas CD, and seeing holiday lights everywhere. It really is the most wonderful time of the year...

at least once everyone gets HEALTHY DAMNIT!

Ahhh, great moments in parenting. You didn't hear from me yesterday as we were knee deep in vomit. Yeah, good times. Devin started at 11, Gwynn chimed in around 1, and we were up with one or the other the rest of the night, with the last bout being around 6 am. Ummm, yeah, that bad. As I lay in bed, delerious, next to Tim at one point I said, "In all these years I don't think we have ever had them both sick, and this sick, at the same time." Milestones. Gotta love 'em. We seem to be on the mend this evening, which seems like noon since we didn't even crawl out of bed today until about 11:30, so I suppose I should just be thankful for that. Sigh. I am ready for Thanksgiving to be over.

The Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade
Sweet rolls
Family
Wine
Wine with Family
A brand new baby nephew
Turkey and all the fixins
Pies aplenty
Rest
These are the things I am thankful for today.

...ahhhh, the peace that comes from being at your mom's house and being taken care of. That never goes away. That is what I am thankful for on this Thanksgiving Eve.

After all the hard work of the last couple of days, the universe sent my reward.

It has been noted that I spent a while looking for pencil skirts to no avail. I found one, finally, at Macy's on Veteran's Day. Low and behold, another one came my way tonight. Then to top it all off, at the marked down price, and with a $15 off coupon, JCPenney's pretty much paid ME to take the skirt off their hands! $5.39! Seriously!

Ya gotta love a bargain!

...wait, yesterday in my blog post did I say 11 evening parent/teacher conferences? I miss spoke. It was 13! PLUS 3 in the afternoon. Yeah, needless to say, I am all out of words.

I got to thinking today, would my life really be all that different right now if I HAD married John Taylor from Duran Duran? That was the plan you know, very well mapped out when I was in 7th grade. I had it organized right down to our children's names, two kids, a boy and a girl. So, check, seems I covered that, eh?

I suppose I would be a little more worldly and well traveled but when I do get out and about, I navigate an airport just fine. So even if I am behind in miles, I make up for it by being tall and particularly well appointed for scoping out flight information on monitors. At least I look the part of seasoned traveler.

Now, one differential would be less wine consumption for me, as I hear JT is now a recovering alcoholic/addict with some rehab behind him, but, if needed, I guess I could just drink more coffee.

With the other bases covered, how about career. School teacher/Rock star, either way it is that daily grind of performing...your life blood that concurrently sucks the life right out of you. The gruling schedules so similar. Late nights in concert compare to 11 back to back conferences, which face me tomorrow night.

And interestingly, JT has gone away from and back to his band the same number of times I have left and come back to teaching. Uncanny? I would say not. I knew all along. It was all part of the plan.

Now, we look to a new DD album coming out in December, and on the heels of that I will turn 40 and enter the next phase of my life. What will the new DD album bring, what will my 40's bring? None of us know, but the new song implores that "All You Need is Now," so maybe I will go with that.

No, my life wouldn't have been all that different if I had married John.

"Saturday Randomness"

Oooh, boy and we were full of randomness today. Tim was off hunting, so I had to get up early (7:30...I know...lame) and get the kiddies going. Gwynn needed to be at the High School to play her sax at the Red Creek Christmas Craft Fair. While she was there Devin and I went out to breakfast at McDonald's. It was nice to spend time just us. Then when we went back we toured the crafts, and picked up some fun Christmas gifts and such. I am always impressed by the talent of some people, and also by the turnout our little community gets for this craft fair. While I consider myself creative, I am NOT a crafty creative type. I mean, a friend of mine made these cute reindeer wreaths out of kids hats and mittens. Who knew?

Then the afternoon was upon us, full of possibility, but Gwynn and I ended up curled up under blankets watching the musical concert of "Chess." It is such an amazing musical too. Anyone who loved Abba, or who is into the show "Mamma Mia" should check this out. The men from Abba wrote it. The music is amazing, and the story very complex. It was a total waste of an afternoon but a great waste if I do say so myself.

Our diet today, on this day of sloth, has been replete with such delicacies as boxed mac and cheese and canned ravioli! True confessions here...I don't cook well all the time. And I always have a soft spot for Chef Boyardee. I recall one pizzeria we used to order from in college that we got specifically because their sauce tasted like Chef Boyardee! What refined palates!

Then again, I suppose a day of sloth is valid after taking in the fine film "Hot Tub Time Machine" last night! You know, John Cusak is so wonderful. If I happen upon many of his films, "Say Anything," "Sixteen Candles," "High Fidelity," "Serendipity," I will immediately be sucked into their vortex of favored 80's actor energy. This one was a trip, literally and figuratively, and had a lot of thoughts to ponder to boot. I suppose that means it is now added to my list of movies I will waste an afternoon with again and again.

Wonder what is on cable tonight?

SO, humorously enough, I found my coconut while driving to school at 8 this morning. Seriously. As I came up over a small crest in the road, and could see the line of demarcation between the snow that fell in Red Creek but not in Fair Haven, BOB FREAKING MARLEY came on the radio! Winter Wonderland outside, tropical island in my van, the veritable definition of "Found the Coconut!"

"One Love, One Heart, Let's get together and feel alright..."

Does it get any better than that? Subsequently, the day sailed by, as I body surfed my students' energy, and got a ton done. Then it was home to takeout, "Charlie Brown Thanksgiving," and, once the kids get in bed, "Hot Tub Time Machine" for Tim and me. I'd have to say it was a good day. Happy Friday Everyone!

(Oh, and in the "credit where credit is due" department, I got the body surfing reference from Sue...it's always fun in the ART room after all!)

Have got to blog this, even though it is dumb, but I found the coconut yet again today. We had Monday's musical coconut on Live From Daryl's House with Neon Trees. Then there was Tuesday's SAMOAS Girls Scout cookie extravaganza. Today, Tim brought home pet shampoo eager to show me he got the "shed control" variety. All I could see was that it was COCONUT VERBENA scented! Will it make me volunteer to bathe the dog more? No. But it sure did provide a good giggle. Happy Thursday Slide everyone. Friday is just around the corner, and then we count the days to Thanksgiving. Yippee!

I'm a natural born talker. I was nicknamed "Motor Mouth" in Kindergarten. I have a blog for goodness sake. Funny though, life has, lately, had me in the role of listener. It has been pretty much the only way I have been able to help someone that I love like a sister, and I do so hope it has been enough. I hope it continues to be enough.

Hmmm, I have said before that my blog, and more specifically the habit of writing everyday, makes me see the world differently. I don't go through my days unaware. I am continually examining, evaluating, thinking "Now THAT could be my blog." Well, when Tim came home with Girl Scout cookies tonight, I got, immediately, happy. Then I realized that my favorites had gone back to their rightful name, Samoas, and I got happier.

At that point, I knew Samoas would be my blog tonight.

But wait, the random thought ramble doesn't end there! There's more. I am now in a cookie coma, and at my happiest as I realize, I have found the coconut yet again tonight. Coconut cookies on a Tuesday. Even if it is rainy, cold and dark outside, I am feeling the sunshine. Last week I had two Fridays with Veterans' Day off midweek. This week, it is as if the universe is sending me a week full of Coconut Fridays?! We will see. How will I find the coconut of Wednesday?

...sorry, too busy to blog tonight. It's the 15th of the month. New "Live From Daryl's House." I warned ya last night! Funny though, the food segment had them making Thai Coconut Shakes! Hello! Found the coconut, on a Monday? Who knew! New band to check out to boot. Neon Trees. Feels like I am starting the week off right. Thanks Daryl!

What do we do to remain relevant in our lives, in our relationships, in our careers?

Got to thinking about this while watching "Behind the Music Remastered : Hall and Oates" this morning, on blessed DVR. They are such an amazing duo, and this whole remastered series takes old Behind the Music episodes, but updates them with a little "so, where are they NOW?" action. Hall and Oates, of course, have become relevant due to Live From Daryl's House, Daryl Hall's self crafted masterpiece of a monthly webcast. I've mentioned it before, but it is so brilliant I will sing its praises again. He hangs at home, brings in a caterer, or some wine folk, and plays amazing music, in his home studio/barn, with current groups like Train, Fall Out Boy, Parachute, Kenny Wayne,Diane Birch, the list goes on. Much like Santana, or Clapton, he has made his music fresh by allowing it to be re-interpreted by the new guard. And, really, isn't that what we all need to do, to stay current in our careers? Those of us that have been around the block so to speak have the knowledge and expertise, but we stagnate unless we continue to connect, unless we stay open, unless we welcome the future. I work with practicum students and student teachers every year, in part, for this reason. Staying on top of what is being taught in the world of higher education, and aware of how the new generation of teachers work, keeps me on my toes in ways beyond what the NYS department of education and their whimsy of change does.

I have felt, for the past several years, that in some ways I would welcome some sort of career change. I feel restless. I like what I do, really, and I am good at it. I AM a teacher, I just AM. It is who I have always been, it is who I always will be, I am certain, in one way or another. And in a bad economy, I have a ridiculously secure job. Who would walk away from a good salary, with tenure, close to the top of a senority list? A crazy person, that's who! And, again, as I said before, I LIKE my job. The question that remains is that of relevance. I have taught, in general, the same age kids, at the same school, for 17 years now. How do I still stay current? How do I maintain creativity? How do I enjoy the benefits of having been at something long enough that I really CAN do it with both my hands tied behind my back, without getting into the bad, bad habit of cranking it out, year after year?

Enter Hall and Oates. After immersing myself in the stories of their songs again this morning, I set off for the grocery store, and dialed my iPod to their catalog, happy enough to enjoy them, again, for the millionth time. Still, no matter the times I listen to some songs, they continually speak to me anew. This time, it was "Do What You Want, Be Who You Are." It hit me like a ton of bricks, to use a cliche. I mean, really, could it be any simpler? I need to do what I want, but still, be who I am. I want to write. I want to teach kids to write. I want to learn more about teaching kids to write. But you know what? I AM a teacher. There are always opportunities to move ON in education. I could be a principal and lead. I could be a curriculum coordinator. I could become a teacher of teachers and do professional development. But I don't want that. That is not who I AM. I want to write and I want to teach. I am already doing both. Now, I just need to see how to do both in a way that helps me to move forward. Helps me to stay relevant. Helps me to continue to grow.

In cleaning out Gwynn's room last weekend, I brought a bunch of photo boxes, that had been in "hiding" behind her bed, downstairs. I figured I would go through a box a night and just thin them out, get rid of bad shots, and doubles and such. Needless to say, the boxes ended up going right back up to our attic dormer storage, unchanged, but boy, did I have a good time looking through them. They are boxes that go from my first instamatic camera as a kid, right up through 04-05 or so, when I was beginning the transition to entirely digital photography. Those years were tough, too, as I had a 7 year old and a 4 year old, and insisted on taking along the digital camera AND the snapshot film Olympus, AND the 35 mm Nikon SLR PRETTY much everywhere. I didn't trust the digital to meet my expectations, so I would shoot with it, then do backup shots with the other cameras. Funny! I think about it now, and it is exhausting, but then it is just what I needed to do, as the mom, as the family photographer, to preserve our moments, to document our children, ourselves, our family, growing. I had to be sure I didn't miss, or in the end, forget, a thing.

While pawing through the boxes, I thanked the storage gods for the transition to digital. Talk about the lessening of clutter! I often joke, though, about the fact that our children will have totally warped views of their growing up years. They look practically perfect in every way. You never take a bad picture anymore, you know? Everyone has the opportunity to check the LCD screen, and if they blinked, or have an odd expression, it is so easy to delete, and re-do. In the end, you have picture perfect memories, of picture perfect moments, of a picture perfect upbringing. Whoo boy, I see years of therapy later.

But, you know, really, as I looked through these old film shots, I saw very few bad ones. Sure there were bad clothes and the house looked a little bit the worse for wear. But, I saw genuine happiness in people's faces, kids beaming, grandparents swelling with joy. I saw happily tired faces on myself and Tim, not so different from now. I saw the funniest moments with our oldest and dearest friends, and their children, all of whom I miss everyday, and don't get to see nearly as much as I would like to. No, we couldn't delete and re-shoot back then, but maybe we never really needed to. Maybe it has been perfect, all along.

...it does seem that there IS an amount of wine that will make a Disney version of Camelot tolerable. "Avalon High" on Disney Channel was our big family movie night tonight, and really, it was pretty fun. The big twist of the female main character being a reincarnation of Arthur was a good one. So here's to Friday #2 of the week! A little sniffly and sick, to tell the truth, but under the Cymbalta blanket, with my family, a bottle of red, pizza and a movie, Life is still good.

I am reminded today of one of my favorite words...

Serendipity [ser-uhn-dip-i-tee] –noun
1.an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.
2.good fortune; luck: the serendipity of getting the first job she applied for.

This word and I go way back...to elementary school days even, when the reading series we used had leveled readers entitled, among others, Lions, Tigers, Voyages, and, the ending volume I do believe, Serendipity. We, naturally, learned the definition of the word, and it has always stayed with me. I try to look at the world with wonder. I try to see the miracles that unfold around all of us, every minute, every day. Perhaps it is my fondness of this word that has always made it a word that has worked FOR me. I have had wonderful, long lasting friendships, my whole life. I had the good fortune of marrying my best friend. I came from a wonderful family, and gained more wonderful family through that marriage. I did, in fact, get the first (real) job I applied for, and even bought the first house we looked at. It is a word that could be used, over and over again, in the story of my life.

Today, with heavy machinery installing sewar lines in front of our house all day, on our blissful, midweek, I suppose you could even say, serendipitous, Veteren's Day off, Gwynn and I decided to go do some shopping...merely to escape the noise. Don't you know, because I was not really looking, I found two things that I have had an eye out for, tall black boots, and a pencil skirt...in a black and grey leopard print no less...a "two for" trendy wardrobe piece!

Yep, while shopping, serendipity was certainly on my side.

Ahhhh, a mid week Friday night...how can you go wrong? We have Veteran's Day off tomorrow, so I have declared tonight Pseudo Friday. Went to a candle party at Jill's with Sue, picked up a box of wine on the way home, and am getting ready to settle in with Wednesday night ABC shows on DVR. It doesn't get any better than that, and we have another Friday night just waiting in the wings. As much as I was hating on October, so far, I am loving November. Bliss!

Again, what I am teaching my own students about writing is coming up in my writing life as well. We are working on writing about firsts and lasts. After all, we are surrounded by them all the time if we just open our eyes to them. I am still processing the last moments that Gwynn didn't "know" about Santa, and surely there will be more about that soon, as it was a very bittersweet last. But if you are paying attention, with lasts come firsts as well. Tonight, I had my first night picking up Devin from sports practice after school. He decided to join the bowling team, so there I was, sitting in my car, in the dark, alongside all the other sports parents, waiting for him to emerge from the High school. He walked over to the car, got in, professed that he was STARVING, and rattled on and on all the way home about practice, and what he'd learned, and what he would need. It was just such fun to see and hear him so engaged and excited about something new. That, after all, is what firsts are all about.

The southern girl in me showed up tonight. I made sausage gravy and biscuits for dinner. Oh, and it was luscious too! SO unhealthy, but SO yummy, and once in a while, that is A-OK if you ask me.

It is funny, because Tim always alludes to me as "Cheryl Lynn," with a southern drawl, and my dad's family is originally from the Blue Ridge Mountain area, more so "the holler" in Virginia, so the roots are there. But seriously, I didn't grow up in a home steeped in southern values and food or anything. In fact, I only traveled to see those relatives once or twice in my childhood. Those trips weren't even necessarily good memories. One involved a bad experience with a cousin who dared me to eat dog food, and another, a tick in a rather embarrassing place. Still, with all of that baggage, I am just drawn, at times, to southern cooking. Bring on the grits! Bring on the greens! Pile up the fried chicken, and if it's gonna be pie, may it be pecan!

And be sure to have #911 on speed dial!

...and another weekend comes and goes. Didn't really have a good plan for today, and I have had a nagging headache all weekend, so I am feeling a little Sunday grumpy, but I think it is a valid excuse.

I'd say that today was a good day though, overall. Had a very LONG church service, but then both the kids had friends over to play. I headed out to get groceries, and also to JC Penney to spend my "$10 off a purchase of $10 or more" free money coupon. Got a couple of cute sweaters, so, naturally, I spent more than the $10, but isn't that just what those savvy marketers hoped for? It was disappointing to be foiled, again, by my recent quest to find the right pencil skirt. Am starting to think that maybe they just aren't "me." But then again, it is also hard to try them on in socks, with no hosiery, and without heels. The quest continues.

Came home and made Turkey Pumpkin Chili, which was quite good, and am about to settle in to some warm apple crisp with maple creme sauce, made by Tim and Gwynn this morning. A sweet end. Hoping maybe that'll chase this nagging headache away.
On to a week with Thursday off...Veterans...thank you!

Gwynn,

You are actually sitting in the other room right now, watching some scene from Camp Rock . And I find it ironic, in a way, that I tried to shield you from that whole movie franchise, since it started with High School Musical when you were 6. Then you shielded yourself by the age of 8 or so. And tonight, we had "the talk" about Santa, because you were asking questions and it just seemed right, and you, in turn, tonight, are watching Camp Rock. Still, your reaction to me destroying your entire magical belief system made me think I probably could've ridden the wave of your unbridled innocence for another year or so. But no. When it is time it is time, and, it was time.

Parenting is such a strange task. At first you are given the responsibility of raising a being that would LITERALLY die without your intervention. Then, a turning point happens, where the being can survive on its own, and your task, as parent, becomes making very important decisions that impact its moral and internal fiber until it is able to make said decisions on its own. I am making you sound like some being from a sci fi movie now, but, moments like this one, as a parent, throw everything off kilter.

I think I need a glass of wine,
Mom

Found the coconut tonight, for sure, and all it took was some magazine time, Chinese take out for dinner, and a long phone call with Sue. It is amazing how zen and relaxed I am. I barely have the energy to move my fingers on these keys. With that said, goodnight...I am off to begin sleeping away my weekend. And there is one extra hour this weekend to boot! It doesn't get any better than that! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

I have decided what I want for Christmas, Santa...a Barnes and Noble Nook Color!

It is a phenomenon that happens every year around here as the holidays approach. Panicking at the inevitable Christmas influx of stuff, I start to HAUL OUT our house. I spent tonight cleaning out the computer room. I helped Gwynn weed through her roll top desk. I had attacked our desk on Tuesday. Even after that, though, there are some shelves that still need a little attention, and books that really do need some more thinning out. As I cleaned I got to thinking that I not only want, but need more digital media storage capability. I have been watching Nooks and iPads and Kindles for while, and the Nook Color, released this week, just looks like it would fit the bill. I mean, in a perfect world, I'd love a real library. Just thinking of the floor to ceiling bookshelves, and one of those cool laddars on tracks, makes me fantasize about riding said ladder, while reading, or perhaps breaking into song! What a day that would be! But we don't live in that world. We are swiftly becomeing 4 full sized adults, each with their own cache of "stuff," living in a moderately sized and closet impaired farmhouse. Right now, as I look to my side, I see scads of books crowding my bookshelf. I can't part with them, but if I could "save" some digitally, well, let's just say I envision that it would do for my reading habit the same thing my iPod did for my music habit. I buy actual CDs only occationally, but download constantly. And it adds NO clutter to my home. Sure, it contributes clutter to my mind, and to my "things that allow me to waste time," but hey, if you ask me, life is for wasting time, as long as you are doing the things you love to waste time doing!

So Santa, have I made a good enough case? Can I have a Nook for Christmas?

Had a funny moment last night at 3 am. There was a not so small child standing by my side of the bed saying "Mom, I have a nosebleed." As I came to a bit more, I realized it was Gwynn, and at the same time had the odd realization, yet again, of how similar my kids voices sound. I know this will change in the near future, as Devin's voice makes that awkward descent into adolescence, but for now, at least in a sleep induced fog, it is a tough call. I rolled out of bed, and went with her to the bathroom where I was thankful, yet again, for those compact fluorescent bulbs, and the fact that they warm up, slowly, just like my eyes.

In a rare moment of good middle of the night parenting, I decided to stay up with Gwynn for a bit, just to be sure this nosebleed stopped. So, once she was cleaned up, I sat down on the toilet seat, flicked the lights back off, and held her on my lap by the dim glow of the nightlight. It was still and quiet, and I just held her close and went into that automatic motion of rocking her back and forth. My mind went back, even there in the upstairs bathroom, the "in major need of a makeover" room that I loathe most in our home, to peaceful times. In an instant, I remembered her infant days, and her soft weight in my lap as I gave her a bottle. I recalled times on the edge of her bed, rubbing her tummy so she could fall asleep. I remembered "bad dream" episodes, irritating at the time, and sometimes taking place several nights a week.

Pretty quickly, it seemed, her nosebleed was under control. As we headed back to her bed, I really felt like I'd almost like to be invited to stay, for a while. To rub a tummy. To smooth her silk soft hair. But in the instant that I tucked her back in bed, she said, "Thanks, I'm OK now Mom," curled up, rolled over, and went back to sleep.

At times, I get annoyed that I am the default parent. Tim is 110% involved with our kids, and in all aspects of their care, but for some reason, when there is a need, it is always "MOM!" It never fails. And last night, when that not so small child beckoned at the side of my bed, my first thought was "Why do you NEVER go to your dad?" But do you want to know my final thought, as I drifted back to sleep myself? What a true blessing it is in this life, just to be needed.

I am a little ashamed about what I have to admit to tonight. Transparency in government, yeah we need it, but you know you always get transparency here in my blog. I tried to be a bad citizen, I really did, but I am such a simple human being. I am so not a bad girl...my good girl side always wins.

Tonight, I was not in the mood to go out to vote. I am well aware that we are electing a new governor and all, but it is a shoe in for Cuomo...hello, NY always goes Democrat. Then there were a bunch of positions in our area running uncontested. There was one Congressional seat I was marginally concerned about, but I was willing, this time, to send Tim out to vote, stay home myself in my warm cozies, and know that he was voting the same way I intended. Do know, please, and it is no excuse, really, but our polling place is a 50 minute round trip. Yeah, the joys of country living.

So, I had almost lamed out. I had almost justified enough to weasel out of my civic duty, then, I logged on to Facebook, and saw the little I VOTED button. I wanted to click it. I wanted to click it so badly, but I am one of those people who is just plain a horrible liar. SO, I treckked out, and made the 20 minute excursion to my polling place, and I placed my vote. I muddled through the new voting chaos. I got my sticker, and put it on my shirt. Then I made the 20 minute trip home. Really, 50 minutes...but at least I was able to click that damn button. Thank you, Facebook, for making me be a better American citizen. It was important. It was worth it.

Monday Monday...can't trust that day.

Went into it feeling great, actually. I got to put on a cute outfit, finally, after all last week wearing "theme clothes" for "Just Say No to Drugs" week. Also, finally got to wear my new shoes, purchased on Sue's and my post book group shopping spree.

In the middle, I realized, suddenly, even after reminder post cards and confirmation phone calls, that I had to actually take tomorrow off - dental appointments for me and the kids - which made me happy in a way, but annoyed to have to get sub plans together, quickly. DUH.

Ended the day with stomach cramps. I seem to have recovered...and they were probably just a reaction to too much chocolate yesterday, or to my frantic stupidity, but still, Monday is a fickle, fickle day.

Think I will call it a night...and sleep off more of this chocolate. No alarm tomorrow, either. Bliss. Gonna ride into Tuesday, on through Wednesday, to the Thursday slide. Anyone have weekend plans yet?

Tonight, I kind of wish I could pull up a stool and get a little Psychiatric Help from my buddy Lucy. You know the phrase too much is never enough? Well, sometimes too much is just that. TOO much!

I know I haven't been my normal blogging self, but with two Halloween parties, the regular cleaning groceries laundry, mowing the leaves, one well timed mental breakdown with my ever supportive hubby standing by, carving pumpkins, having mom and dad up for dinner, and trick-or-treating...somehow I just didn't find the time. Go figure. It has been a long, fun, but exhausting weekend. Fall has just been coming at us at a breakneck pace, and I don't see it slowing up any time soon, so I guess it is time to buckle up and hold on for the Holiday Wild Ride!

So many life lessons are in a Charlie Brown cartoon...

"Never jump in a pile of leaves with a wet sucker"

Never get between a woman and chocolate...a paraphrase if you will of "the fury of a woman who's been cheated out of tricks-or-treats."

and of course, the three things you don't discuss with people..."religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin!"

Thanks Charles Schultz! May my blog, like Linus' pumpkin patch, always be the most sincere.

Just one little request, though. If you could somehow get ABC to air the Dolly Madison fruit pie advertisements during Peanuts specials, that would be great. Those were very much part of the whole experience back in the 70's...and I always wanted 'em! Of course, mom never bought them. Right up there with my lack of pets, character bedsheets, and Underoos. Yep, the things from childhood I am bitter about...but that's another blog.

Becky,
This is a personal letter to you.
Please don't yell at me at lunch tomorrow.
I'm all outta blog tonight.
Sorry,
Cheryl
PS Last line there made me think of an Air Supply song, though, and if I know you, I know you're singing along. Not because you are like Air Supply's number one fan or anything, but because you, like me, are a wonderful rememberer of random songs of the 70's! Sing it sister!
PPS Maybe I will blog about that random song lyric thing tomorrow. I actually call the phenomenon "The Debbie Gibson Factor," since I can remember all the words to "Electric Youth" for goodness sake, but many days, can't remember where I put my keys.
PPPS Hmmm, funny, but I kinda got a blog out of this rambling, eh?

Some nights, you have bookgroup...I mean girl's gossip/eat/shop night out...and your jean obsessed friend finds $13 Levi's, WITH cute pockets. THEN you find a cute Gwen Stefani perfume set, also for $13. Well, let's just say that on those nights there is just no time to blog.

Just another Manic Monday.
Several of my Facebook friends, people that don't know each other in the least, have put up this actual post today! Isn't that funny? Monday energy is universal, or universally lacking, I suppose. You know, I looked back at my blog today, like I continually encourage my students to look back at their Writer's Notebooks. My objective in the classroom is for them to examine topics for expanded writing in class, but my objective was to look back on my Mondays and see if they are always blah. Well I'll tell ya what...in the summer, not so much, but in the school year, yes. The tone of the entries is not negative so much as VOID. I think my energy level is just so low on a Monday, that if I get through school, and then get home to do the "regular stuff," that is about all I have. Today was a "new" day at school too, as my student teacher started. This is a great thing, overall, and I know she will be wonderful as she already worked with me last semester as a practicum student, but it just felt like a "second first day of school," in a way. Karen B. brought in cheesecake for me this morning, and that was super duper wonderful. I have to say it gave me hope for the day, but it certainly does seem that morning cheesecake ended up being the highpoint. So, Monday, farewell for now. I attacked you, I prevailed, and now I am done...at least until next week. Is it too early for a Monday countdown?